Chapter 10: I think I have officially given up trying. This is my life now.

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I was allowed to sleep in the next day, and I did that exactly. My brain woke me up around lunchtime. I yawned, my eyes red and irritated from the previous night, but I paid no attention to that. I sat up and picked my glasses up from the floor, and as soon as I put them on, I noticed a cute outfit neatly folded at the end of my bed. Confused, I pick up the ripped jeggings & t-shirt with the design of three wildflowers and the words 'Maybe she is a wildflower' written in cursive across the middle. I checked the tags, and they were both even somewhat in my size (although they both were a bit too big)!

I was confused as much as I was grateful, and I wanted to know who'd gotten these new, super cute clothes for me. I hopped off my bed, took off the clothes that I was already wearing, tossed them aside, and put on my new ones, including new undergarments, which came along with the new clothes.

Once I'd gotten dressed, I lightly knocked on my cell door and asked the guards outside, "Hey, uh, who got me these new clothes and put them at the foot of my bed? I'm not mad, in fact, I'm very grateful, but I'm just wondering. I really want to thank them." Scraape! I slightly winced at the sound of metal scraping against metal. "Sorry, sweetheart. I couldn't hear through your thick, titanium cell door. What did you say?" I sighed and repeated what I'd said earlier.

"Oh, well, I don't really know who gave you those clothes & set them at the end of your bed. I know I didn't, *and I know that Eric has been rude to you and that usually means he hates someone, so it couldn't have been him, either* But, I think I might know who did," Sean replied ominously. My eyes lit up. "Wait, really? Who?" I asked excitedly. "I think it could be either Dr. Sophia, or Dr. Xyank. But the most likely option is Dr. Sophia," Sean replied, and he went back to guarding my cell. Ok, now I'm super confused. She was rude to me at first, and now she's being nice? What the hell? I thought in confusion.

I didn't have time to wonder why she possibly did it, because I heard her all too familiar voice & footsteps. I craned my neck to eavesdrop because I was so bored.

"Yes, Mother. I gave her the new clothes that you bought for her. ....... No, mother, you know that I can't come over for Thanksgiving in a couple of months because of work....... Just quit?! Mother, you know how much I love this job. I can't quit.......... I know I never come over there anymore, but- ......... Ok, Mother. I'll try my best to find time this year.................. Y-you're welcome, and I love you too. Bye," I heard Dr. Sophia argue, and I tried my best not to snicker because every TOH fangirl knows that this is the plotline of someone who is probably going to get fired. I lightly slapped myself to remind myself that that isn't right. What if you were in the same situation as her? Would you want someone to laugh at you because you're dealing with family issues? My angel alter ego reminded me, and I sighed in guilt and shame. No. I replied, sighing.

When Dr. Sophia arrived at my cell door, I took a deep breath and told myself, Just fucking ask her. It's not that fucking hard!

"Afternoon, Sean. Eric. Is she awake yet?" I heard her ask the guards outside my door. "Uh, yeah actually, she just did. She seems to like your mother's gift a lot. She also said that she wants to thank the person who gave her the clothes before you got here," I heard Sean reply. "Oh, ok. That's perfect, actually. I have more of them that she might like," Squeeak! Clang-clang! Swoosh! The door screamed. A small sliver of me wanted to try to escape, but I pushed it down into a bottle with the other unsafe or uncomfortable urges. I'd gotten used to a part of me wanting to escape. At first, it was unbearable, but over time, it gradually got smaller. However, this sliver is just way too stubborn. I guess you could say it's my American spirit! (I'm just trying to lighten the mood. Lately, I've just been feeling so depressed & irritable for some reason, and before you ask, no I'm not on my shark week.)

But anyway, she stepped inside my cell with a full grocery bag filled with clothes for teens and young adults. "Hey, I know we've had our rough patches before, but I promise I will eventually get you to love me, ok? In fact, I could actually probably get less pay, or worst-case scenario, be downgraded to D-class or even fired for this. But I'm willing to make that risk. You said you needed clothes right? Well, my mother... generously donated these ones that she bought a year ago for my kids. Would you like to try them on?" Dr. Sophia asked me.

I shook my head. "Uh, n-no, thanks. But maybe later though," I replied, and Dr. Sophia nodded in understanding. "Ok, you do you. But if they don't fit or you don't like them, then I'm sorry, but I can't risk it anymore. Hopefully, though, you should like them, and they should fit. I told her to pick out sizes that were 3 sizes too big than she originally thought. She tends to pick out sizes much smaller than what I tell her, most likely because she thinks I don't know anything," Dr. Sophia explained, and I was honestly a bit in shock from it all. She always kept to herself about her personal life, and I never really understood why, until now. It all makes sense now! I thought in realization.

"Wait, is this why you never talk about your personal life? Wow, that makes so much sense now! You have mommy issues!" I exclaimed, and Dr. Sophia sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I don't get paid enough for this. Look, please don't make fun. I've had to deal with her crappy nonsense my whole life!" She explained. "No, no. You're... You'reright. I'm sorry," I replied.

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And that particular conversation with her happened about a week ago I think, but IRDK. They won't give me a clock or even a calendar, so I can't really tell the time or date because of that.

However, there are a few upsides to this I get free healthcare, plus free food. And SCP-999 (AKA the Tickle Monster) is comforting as well. I get to spend time with it (as per it being a Safe class anomaly & part of cross-testing with it); so I guess it's almost like the equivalent of a pet. Buuut... the downsides to this are that I have to do these stupid tests every week (sometimes 5-6 times per week), and I also have to go to a mental eval as well, meaning that's been a real pain in the ass.


Anyways, I've been here ever since, and sure it can get lonely sometimes, but hey. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? *Sigh* Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I'm a fucking literal mess! And because of this stupid, lie detector thingy in my arm, I can't lie during the evals, so, again, that sucks ass, too. And I miss my besties and family very much, (and as much as it pains me to say this, I have also missed my younger brother, Liam. Sure, he's an absolute pain in the ass sometimes, but in the end, I know he loves me dearly. [And He might not want to admit it sometimes or all the time, really, but I know he cares about me deeply and will do anything to keep me happy]).

Oh, shit. I can hear Dr. Sophia coming back towards my cell. I stole my phone back yesterday during testing so I can catalog everything that has happened this month, meaning that if she finds where I hide it, she's probably going to be really, really mad at me for that. I have to go do my weekly extensive testing & mental eval now. Well, at least, uh, hopefully, I don't die today, and I guess I'll talk to you all next time (if I'm still alive, that is). Now, where the fuck do I hide this so that she can't find it?

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