"𝑫𝒐 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆?"
Carmen Bailey has had scandal follow her for the entirety of her life, from childhood up until her band 'the dolls' opened for Daisy Jones...
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Eddie,
I hate you. I hate that I feel like I need you to breathe.
Your just a man, and you and I both know that whatever happened in the past is long over now.
I hate that you're a man. Men have always been so cold and controlling, I just want to be free. I need you to set me free, but I want you to keep me in a golden cage and whisper your secrets in my ears.
I hate that you make me feel special. You talk to me like I'm the air that fills your lungs and when you look me in the eyes it's like its the first time you and I have ever locked eyes across a crowded room.
I hate that I loved you even when I shouldn't have. When I was with him and I closed my eyes whenever he would touch me because I wanted it to be you and I couldn't look him in the eye without wanting to cry from shame.
But most of all I hate that you'll never know how I feel because I'm so scared that maybe it's all in my head and that I'm crazy and you'd look at my like I was a stranger.
So instead I'll fold this vulnerable confession and throw it in a draw and think about it whenever I walk by the desk or shuffle it around to look for another paper.
I hate that I can't get rid of it. That it stands as a glaring reminder that I can't get rid of the way I feel about you.
