asylum [rafe cameron]

fourteen

"Counselling?" Kiara suggests.

"No way in hell am I doing that." I laugh.

They all look at me as if I'm crazy. But they just don't understand a thing.

"Look, I don't know what else to tell you? Drugs are- they're the only thing I have left." 

"They're killing you!" Kiara exclaims.

"Almost like that's the point." I shout back.

I see my moms hands go to her heads as I look at my families faces. I was a disappointment to them. I could see that. And there was no way of fixing that.

"What makes you do drugs?" Mike sighs, genuinely asking.

"It makes me feel alive. I love the feeling."

"Without it, I feel- I feel dead." I admit.

Whilst Mike and Kiara listened to me, my mom started laughing.

"This is what I mean, you never fucking listen!" I shout.

"I'm just tired of this bullshit, Gia-" my mom says.

I could tell she was about to give me another lecture like always when I see her.

"You're tired of my bullshit? I'm the one who has to live with myself the rest of my fucking life." I yell.

"I knew this wouldn't work." Kiara sobs.

"Hey, it's alright." I see Mike comforting her.

I see him hugging her and holding her. I see her crying in his arms. That's all I've ever wanted. From anyone.

I look at them. The perfect family as it should've been. They didn't need me. They didn't understand me. All I had was myself.

"Yeah, you go be a family without me. I'm fine." I point to myself, laughing hysterically.

"I am fine." I sob.

I see all three of them not looking at me miserably. There was no way of fixing that now.

"Your right." my mom says.

"I'm right?" I repeat.

She nods.

"Why'd you even make me come?" I sigh.

"To help you." Kiara looks at me.

"I don't need help." I shrug.

"If you say so. If you're not better in a week, I'm calling the asylum." my mom says.

"What?" I look at my mom with tears in my eyes.

"Mom-" Kiara sighs.

"No. I've had it with her." she stands up, her hands going through her hair.

"But I just got out not long ago. That's not fair!" I yell.

"You don't even know if I'm doing drugs yet!" I scream.

"I know all about it. Trust me." my mother yells back, looking at Kiara.

Kiara.

I stand up, pacing around the room, feeling as if I was about to go crazy. A week? How was that fair at all.

"Yeah, go crazy. You go do that." my mom says.

I laugh, looking my mother dead in the eyes and walking up to her.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to do, huh?" I yell in her face.

"What do you want me to do!" I spit.

I notice sobs from behind me, looking to see Kiara.

"Oh you're fucking crying!" I yell, walking towards her.

"You have fucking everything!" I shout, leaning down to her.

"That's enough Gia." my mom says.

She pulls me away from Kiara for me to face her.

"Don't touch me." I say, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from my arm.

I see my mothers face rise up with anger, her hand forming a first from below.

"You wanna hit me? Do it." I stated.

"Hit me like dad does." I say.

"You were never there. You flew off with fucking Mike." I laugh, pointing towards him.

"Kiara just keeps you from admitting what a shit fucking mother you are." I continue.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kiara yells from behind.

"You think I fucking messed up? Look at you." I laugh hysterically in my mothers face.

"No, you don't get to do that. I raised you." she yells back.

"No you didn't. You forgot about me when you had her." I say, pointing to Kiara.

Kiara jumps out of her seat, pushing me fowards.

"Shut up Gia!" she yells.

"Fuck off!" I yell, pushing her back as she lands on the floor, her shirt covered with tears.

"What happened to you?" she cries.

I look around me. The mess I've made. They were obviously better off without me, but the anger inside got to me.

I look at my mom, crying with her hands in her head. I look at Kiara, wedged near the sofa, crying. And I look at Mike, disappointed in me.

He could've been the father I never had. But he never made the effort. No one did.

"I'm sorry." I let out.

My mom walks towards the door that I had tried to open beforehand, and fiddles with the few keys in her pocket, finding one and unlocking the door.

"Get out." she looks at me.

We look at eachother.

"Go do drugs. It's not my problem anymore."

I walk towards the door, glaring at her.

"Don't have to tell me twice." I murmur.

And I completely forgot about Rafe.