This Isn't Working Out

The Universe Isn't Worried About Me

Lily leaned against Elizabeth's kitchen counter, idly watching her friend cook dinner.

"How's the old lady doing? Are you almost done with the book?" Elizabeth asked as she tossed spices with abandon into a pan of chicken.

"Very detail oriented. And no. There may be no ending. I think she's going to continue to narrate up to the moment of her death, which will doubtless be after mine. Do you want any help, by the way?"

Elizabeth looked up with a smirk. "Is that a real offer?"

"No, I was just trying to be polite. I will pour us both a glass of wine, though." Lily opened the refrigerator and rooted around until she found an open bottle of white. As she poured them both a glass, she heard the front door open and Chris come home.

He walked into the kitchen, giving both Elizabeth and Lily a kiss. She handed him a glass of wine, and he took a seat at the counter. "How was the personal training? He's cute, isn't he? Did you like him?"

"You have to start being less interested in my love life," Lily admonished.

"But wait," Elizabeth's eyes sparkled, "I didn't tell you the best part. She knew him already. He was that cute guy who rescued her from that date with Harry."

"Harold," Chris corrected reflexively, "and how can you deny that is fate? Lily, have you considered that this guy could be The One? The universe obviously wants you together."

"How many times do I have to tell you that the universe has bigger things to worry about than my love life."

"And I'm telling you, it has a plan. The perfect guy is out there for you."

Lily snorted and shook her head. "After the last date you set me up on, I would settle for decent."

"It's not my fault. He seemed like a regular guy."

"And that's exactly why you don't get to set me up anymore. Your standards aren't high enough. Just because we have different jobs doesn't mean we're going to hit it off."

"But..."

Lily pointed her fork at him threateningly. "I swear, do not say opposites attract one more time...."

"But...."

"One more time...."

Elizabeth slapped both hands onto the countertop. "That is enough! Chris – you got lucky and married me, that does not make you an expert on love. Stop trying to set Lily up. Your taste in men is horrible. And Lily....well, Chris means well. And maybe there is the perfect guy out there for you. Stop being so cynical. "

"Yes, Mom," Celeste and Chris replied together, used to Lily's nagging. They all sat down at the kitchen table and ate, talking about their days.

After Chris told a story about his truly terrible boss who had a penchant for not only throwing things but also constantly quoting "Glen Gary, Glen Ross," Lily quipped, "Is that who I should expect my next date to be with?"

Chris laughed, "All I did today was mention how cute the trainer was. And, okay, point out that the two of you may be fated to be together."

"Based on running into him twice? If that's the criteria, there are like twenty people in line before him. Including my dentist, whom I swear I can't stop running into."

Elizabeth chimed in, "But you did say he's cute and nice. And he distracted you enough to do at least a little exercise. That's no small feat."

"Do not gang up on me. I'm not trying to date my trainer. And can you really see me with someone who does that as their job?"

"You're such a snob!" Elizabeth accused.

"And that's my cue to leave," said Chris, clearing his plate before taking the stairs up two at a time.

"Coward!" Lily cried at Chris's retreating back. "And you know me, I'm not a snob."

"But you're basically saying you won't date this guy because he's just a trainer."

"First of all, he offered to buy me a drink once. It's not like he's banging down my door. In fact, he probably has a rule about not dating clients. And it's not because there's anything wrong with being a trainer. He's objectively hotter and healthier than I am. I just don't think we have anything in common."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes in frustration. "I can't have this conversation again. It's basically like you won't date anyone who doesn't have the exact same job as you. Which just ends with you getting back with Marcus again and he's the worst of all your exes."

"You're right. I can't with this again. Ben is just my trainer. And maybe my prince charming is waiting out there. I just don't think he's going to be one of the crypto bros your husband works with."

Elizabeth shrugged in agreement and the two of them returned to their wine and gossip.