The start of a new Beginning (Chandler Riggs)

Chapter 16

(TW SELF HARM!!)

It was the day I was moving, may first... everything was already packed. I kept all of my friends out of my house so they didn't and wouldn't question it.

Every morning was the same for me after the 16th, same kids running by every morning a cup of tea and arguing with my mother, the arguments getting gradually worse every time. It always left someone crying either me or her but even then i still cried every night but stayed strong for my friends and my lovely boyfriend chandler... I still haven't said a word to him about me moving, I felt guilty every day knowing I should've said something. Even if I did it wouldn't matter anymore because it's too late now.

I got up out of my bed my room completely empty with my clothes laying on the end of my bed that I had picked out yesterday for school.

It was the same outfit that i had put on for my first day of school. I faced myself in my bathroom mirror, such a fucking idiot i was a bastard a bitch, a coward... i couldn't even face the man I love most about me leaving him just like my fucking mother. I was wrong, i was wrong everyday I woke up and opened my eyes without opening my mouth to say a single goddamn word to chandler about me going back to Boston i was a phony a quiet mouthed bitch with no feelings for anyone but herself.

I thought these horrible and disgusting things every morning and believed them with my soul praying to god that one morning i wouldn't wake up from my sleep, i had bags under my eyes my hair was dull my skin was lifeless and pale and my eyes were filled with nothing but complete sorrow.

Yesterday morning i woke up and shoved a bunch of pills down my throat knowing tomorrow would be the day I would be leaving but chandler knocked on my front door kissed me held me and said "goodmorning princess"...I told him to wait there as I ran upstairs and stuffed my fingers down my throat throwing them up knowing he would hurt worse if I were dead.

I grabbed my bag and went downstairs ignoring my mother and slamming the door shut seeing the little kids running down the street while their mothers were yelling at them to slow down.

//

"Hey baby!!" Chandler ran behind me and gave me a hug "your birthday is in 3 more days are you excited"

I felt my eyes starting to water "it's just another day why get excited about it?"

"Oh cmon, you were so excited not to long ago about it you said on and on IM GONNA BE 17! And would squeal more than I could count" he chuckled spinning me around as his smile faded

"What's the matter?" I asked knowing exactly what was was the matter

"You Look lifeless Olivia... is there something wrong?" He asked with a concerned tone

"I'm fine... chandler. Let's go before we're late for homeroom" I replied slamming my locker shut

//

"Hey gorgeous" chandler said wrapping his arms around me from behind as i walked toward the exit

"Hi chandler" i forced a smile on my face opening the exit door

"You need a ride?" Chandler asked holding up his keys

"No thank you, I'll just walk... bye baby" I kissed his cheek walking toward the back of the school I refuse to let him see me fall apart

*Chandlers pov*

I watched her walk away I knew something was wrong... she's been acting extremely weird and down lately she's not even excited about her birthday she was jumping around about not to long ago, she won't let me come over and she's been distant lately. I've been wondering if I did something wrong she never acts like this ever