Huntress

Chapter 75

I flipped through the book, still hoping it would speak to me. But it never did and at some point, I accepted that it never would. The magic was gone. And regardless of how many times I shoved the volume into Ajax's hands, it seemed that the moon goddess had done what she could with both of us. So, I would crack the book open at random and sift through pages at a time. We spent more time with the royals than I would have thought, at least an hour every day.

They would all loom around me, Ryder bringing me teas and snacks often. They pretended to talk about other things and act like the world just went on, but every time I sighed or glanced up from an old, weathered page, they would close their mouths and stare eagerly. I would resume my searching without uttering a single word. I flipped through, reading small chunks at a time, hoping to find something glaringly obvious.

The book had everything in it. There were mentions of royals from long ago, Archer and Willow like Ajax had said. There were complicated family trees that spanned on for dozens of generations. Sometimes, I even got to stare at hand-drawn pictures of castles that once were, battles that happened before my grandparents' grandparents. It was wonderful and daunting, all at once, to think of time like this. And it was also disappointing, because not a single thing had meant anything to me.

So, I gave up on aimless skimming and, on the seventh day of my efforts, I started on the first page.

In the beginning, there were three.

To create balance, the powers could not be given to one.

So the shapeshifter, the spell caster, and the nature bender all thrived, spreading and growing.

Powers were given from the originals to the secondaries who then gave it those they called their children, humans deemed worthy enough to receive them. Through acts of bravery, through sacrifice, through seduction, gifts were dispersed among the humans. Slowly, the power drained from the originals, given until no more could be gave.

Humans named the powers, named those who gave them without ever understanding the magic that was bestowed upon them. Some became mad with power. Some were frightened of the very blessing that had been bestowed upon. The magic that threads the very universe together is not for every human.

Werewolves, the children of the shapeshifter, have many purposes in this world. Designed to be wild and ruthless in the face of fear, they are great protectors. Protectors of the humans, protectors of the natural world, protectors of each other. Through the wolf, they find their roots in family, in togetherness. A rogue wolf is a dead and dangerous wolf.

The words continued, started to blur under my intense gaze. I needed to keep reading, needed to press on. I felt my head bob.

"Oh George," Ryder sighed softly. I was tucked in an overstuffed armchair in Ajax's office and had been for some time, judging by the numbness in my legs and the lurching nods that my head kept dipping into.

"I'm fine." The slight slur in my words said otherwise.

"You need to rest. You don't have all your strength back and it's getting late. I should have taken you home hours ago. What was I thinking?" he mumbled, talking more to himself than me.

"Wait, I think I'm on to something." it was a lie, but I said it anyway, as if I could put any more pieces of this puzzle together right now.

"Ryder, maybe she should stay a little longer?" Ajax suggested from behind his desk, leaping to his feet while Ryder scooped me into his arms. I lolled my head against the chest of the man who had once been my mate. the man who had done his best to romance me, who loved me, and marked me as his own.

My brow furrowed. The marking. There was something there. Something that I had missed.

"Look at her, Ajax. She needs to go home."

"Maybe you two can just stay in one of the guest bedrooms here, get an early start tomorrow."

I didn't have to say anything for Ryder to know what I was thinking. "She spent enough time here to hate the sight of this place. I'm taking her home and making sure she gets the rest that she needs," he said sharply.

"Does she have siblings?" I mumbled into the soft tee shirt.

"Who?"

"The goddess."

Ajax cleared his throat, a little awkward. "I mean, she wasn't exactly born from what I understand. It's hard to have siblings if the universe created you. Unless—"

"Good night, Ajax," Ryder said briskly.

I didn't remember much of the drive back to the house, but I did remember curling up on Ryder's thighs when he sat on my couch. And I could remember the little chunks of watermelon that he fed me when I complained that I was feeling snacky.

But waking up was not nearly as gentle as falling asleep. Though I remembered dozing off on the couch, I woke up in my own bed. Ryder was beside me, bare chest with an arm covering his eyes from the morning sun. I tried to shut my eyes. It couldn't have been passed eight in the morning and with the late night we had, I needed all the sleep I could get. I closed my eyes. I tried to dream. I thought warm, fuzzy thoughts.

But there was an urgency in my belly that I couldn't ignore.

I slipped out of bed quietly, putting on a pair of leggings and a tee shirt. Though the leggings were stretchy enough to hide some of the weight that I was still trying to gain back and stayed up well enough, I could still feel the bagginess under my butt. It was incentive to sit back down at the kitchen table and make myself eat a breakfast while my blood rushed through me. I was getting better every day, stronger. The weight would come back. And if it didn't, that was okay because I would still be doing my best.

But, after I stirred Greek yogurt and frozen berries into my oatmeal, I felt like I couldn't sit still. I needed to go. I needed to be at the place that made me ill to visit. After being trapped at the royal's vacation cabin and resisting nausea when Ryder drove me up their driveway, I wanted to go there. Now.

I left Ryder a brief note, ending it with a smiley face. I didn't have the heart to wake him if he was only going to sit there and stare at a wall vacantly or try and make small talk with a queen again.

Noah, the royal guard and Ajax's right hand man, didn't blink at my arrival until he saw me get out of the driver side.

"Feeling strong?" he wondered.

"So, it would seem." The drive here was okay, but if I stayed as long as I had yesterday, Ajax would be driving me home.

I let myself in and went straight to his office. Only part of me was aware that it was these people who pulled out my fingernails. But after all this time together, after sharing hurried lunches, laughing over their daughter's made up scenarios, they were family now. Ugly and broken somedays, but close and loving. And when I saw Ajax sitting behind his desk, staring at the map on his wall, eyes glassy, I could feel his emotions crashing into me: frustration, desperation, hopelessness, guilt.

"You're here early," he mumbled, tiredness in his voice.

"I couldn't sleep," I admitted.

He gave me a tiny smile. "Same. But Ryder is right. This is taking a lot out of you. You need to rest. And I need to remember that this isn't your war anymore."

"I can't let it go."

He let out a little breath, his smile softening into something real. "Good, because I did some thinking and you might be able to confirm some things for me."

~~~Question of the Day~~~

Do you play any instruments?