Chapter 51

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Ryder did ask me if I wanted to keep riding my bike, but we both knew the answer to that. I was sweaty and a little battered from my fall. And, despite the fact that he was being so accommodating of me, I saw the way he looked at other trailheads. Riding with him would only make me suffer more and prevent him from doing what he really wanted. I promised him I would be content in the car by myself. I had downloaded a reading app at the hotel and had enough content to keep myself occupied for some time.

Every now and then I would lift my head and see Ryder pedaling back up the road, see him exit the trees at lightspeed, grinning like mad the entire time. A couple times I spotted him stopped, leaned against the handlebars and chatting with a few people who were also riding bikes. I envied that easiness that he could just swing when he wanted to. I had never been that way, would never be that way.

I flicked through various stories from high fantasies with swirling dragons and dashing heroes to a country themed romance. It felt like it was the first time I had been able to take a full breath in weeks and just...fall apart.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so satisfied with the whole situation. We were on our way to pick up Cassey after all. Whether I liked it or not, I was now working in alliance with the werewolf royals.

But he had said he loved me. The words had left his mouth and they had been true, I knew in my bones that they were.

No matter what had been tearing us apart, no matter how differently we looked at the world, he loved me and I him.

I let the bliss of the shared moment on the bike trails take me away for far longer than I realized. Soon, the sun was beginning to set along the hike peaks of the surroundings mountains. The weather that had been just above pleasantly warm was now becoming nippy. Just when I was beginning to get worried – thinking that he might have suffered a fall or some kind of mechanical malfunction – I saw Ryder rocket down the side of the steep hill, moving just like those pro riders I had seen on television. That felt like years ago now, keeping my back to him, wishing so badly that things were different.

Maybe the guilt should have been more prominent than the joy. But, right then, it didn't seem to matter. I could wish that things were different. It wasn't going to change what was right in front of me.

I got out of the car, stretching my achy muscles.

"Sorry," Ryder said immediately. "I lost track of time. I just kept thinking that I could squeeze one more in and now we're behind schedule."

"It's fine," I assured. "We gave ourselves lots of time anyway. We can stay here another night and move on in the morning."

That was all it took for him to launch into a wild tale, summarizing his day. He used lots of words I didn't know and gestured vividly with his hands. Judging by the mud on his one hip and elbow, he had also taken quite the spill today. When I asked him about it, he rambled with great detail, stringing me along as if it was some kind of war story. It involved drops, rock slabs, and other things I didn't understand, but I listened and watched nonetheless. He took off his helmet and shook out his sweaty hair, not even missing a beat in his tale.

Eventually, he realized that we were some of the last people in the parking lot and the kind folks at the rental shop wanted to go home so he returned our bikes. I got back in the car, thinking that we would be on our way shortly.

After a moment, I raised my head, catching movement in the rearview mirror. All of the other vehicles had left. The rental shop was closed up.

And Ryder was walking away from the car, into the woods. He cast one glance over his shoulder, presumably to make sure I was in the car, then he tugged his tee shirt over his head and disappeared into the thick forest.

I sat and waited for a little while, just to see if he would come back. I told myself that he was an adult and that he could go for strolls, shirtless ones even, if he wanted to. It was not my job to monitor this grown man. If anything, it was his job to keep an eye on me.

Then I remembered where we were and who was around us. I darted out of the car as if it was made of molten lava then.

I wouldn't run. I wouldn't scream his name. none of that. If he was out there and someone else was out there, I didn't want to bring attention to him. But I certainly wasn't walking like a normal human, my back too straight and my pace far too fast. I told myself that they wouldn't hunt out here. Of course, they wouldn't hunt out here. As well as the bike park being on this mountain, there was an abundance of hiking trails and it wasn't that far out of town. They wouldn't hunt here. They couldn't hunt here.

But I wasn't in the game anymore. I didn't know what had changed since I had gone into the royal's territory and come out the other side. They could be braver now, bolder. They might not care who knew and who didn't.

I spotted a small pile of clothing at the base of a tree. Ryder's clothes from this morning.

Fuck.

I knew as soon as that shirt had come off that he had gone into the forest to shift. But I had been hoping. God, I was a fool. Why hadn't I told him that we were in hunter territory? Surely, I should have been smart enough to come up with a lie. I had already woven so many lies in our relationship, to him, to Keiko and Ajax, to Milo. What was one more?

A shadow shifted on my right. A black blur among the trees. Had I not been trained for this, I would have thought it was a trick of the mind of maybe a crow flying above. But I used all of my senses, taking a deep breath to quiet my breathing, straining my ears until I heard the soft crack of a branch. And there was a wolf, staring right at me. something that had been almost perfectly camouflaged now seemed to be outlined in bold.

I had been hunting werewolves too long to have a pleasant response to seeing the claws and the fur. My fingers twitched, but I had no weapons I could draw.

Silver eyes gazed at me.

"What are you doing?" I asked aloud.

He cocked his head to one side. It was wolfish, for sure. But the gesture was also Ryder.

A softness swept over me.

"Come here," I encouraged. "I want to look at you."

He was before me in a matter of seconds. He must have been racing through the woods before because he was panting hard as he drew nearer. He circled me once, twice. He was something majestic that you only saw on the nature channel. So black it was almost uncomfortable to look at, like the mind couldn't process it. then, silver eyes that gleamed like pure moonlight. His mouth would open and I would see teeth that could shred skin. I saw claws that dug into the earth beneath his paws.

But I still saw Ryder. Right there, as a wolf.

"You could have just told me you needed to...do this," I said.

He let out a noise that sounded a lot like a snort.

Maybe under other circumstances, I would have been resistant to it. seeing him like this, it broke the fantasy. But here, in a place where the danger was very real, I would have been able to hold him off, at least for another day.

Even still, I was grateful. Grateful that I could see this side of him and not recoil. Grateful that I could see pure and genuine love glowing in his eyes. 

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