I'm Not Gay

2

The next night, Harry went to his favorite club and picked up the hottest woman he could find, a tall, curvy redhead with great legs. Her name was Debbie. She gave amazing head and she was so wet around him that her pussy made wet sounds every time he moved; it was a great ego boost.

Harry left her flat, feeling well-fucked and pleased with himself. He fucking loved women.

"But?” Zayn said, cutting him off as Harry waxed poetic about Debbie.

Harry scowled at him. “There’s no but. I hooked up with the hottest woman in London and got her number. I think I’ll actually call her.”

Zayn sipped his beer slowly, just looking at him in that half-amused, half-exasperated way that always drove Harry crazy. Was it normal to want to punch his best bro in his stupid face? 

“What?” Harry said.

“You don’t have to prove that you’re straight, you know,” zayn said amiably. “Just because you liked fingering yourself.”

Harry took a big gulp from his beer.

“So you really like it,” zayn said.

Harry flicked his gaze to the bar, but Justin clearly didn’t need his help at the moment; Zoe was helping him out tonight. More was the pity. He could use an excuse to avoid this conversation.

He shrugged, his face uncomfortably hot, which was ridiculous. He didn’t blush over sex. Not that wanking was sex. Zayn was right: there was nothing weird or gay about liking a finger—or two—up his ass. 

“You aren’t telling me something,” Zayn said. Harry made a face. 

“Come on, Haz,” zayn said. “It’s me.”

Rubbing the back of his flushed neck, Harry said reluctantly, avoiding zayn’s gaze, “The sex with her was, like, great. Easily the top five sex of my life. I was so into her I could barely wait until I got in her.” He moistened his lips with his tongue. “The sex was fine, but it still wasn’t as intense as…I came so much harder just from my fingers, you know? I want to do it, like, all the time now. All the bloody time.” Zayn was quiet.

Harry glanced his way and found zayn nursing his beer with a pinched expression on his face, his dark brows furrowed.

“So what?” Zayn said at last, clearing his throat. “I don’t get what your problem is. Find a woman willing to finger you.”

Harry cringed at the mere suggestion. He couldn’t imagine asking that from a woman he was into.

“I dunno,” he said. “It feels really…emasculating.”

Zayn’s odd expression shifted into a more familiar look of fond exasperation. “It’s the twenty-first century. You do know that all those macho stereotypes are a thing of the past, right? A lot of women like to take charge, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be on the receiving end of some ass play. It wouldn’t make you less manly or something.”

Rationally, Harry totally got that. But… “It’s still mortifying to ask a hot girl to stick her finger in my asshole,”
Harry mumbled. “What if she laughs at me? What if she thinks it’s weird or gross?” He scrunched up his nose. “It is kinda gross, actually. I wouldn’t want to stick my finger into someone’s asshole, especially if I barely know them.”

Zayn laughed, his eyes full of mirth. “As someone who regularly sticks his various body parts into someone’sasshole, I disagree. I didn’t know you were such a prude.”

Harry kicked him under the table. “Shut up. Am not a prude.”

“You know what?” zayn said with a smile, pulling out his phone and tapping something out. “I have an idea.”

Harry eyed him suspiciously. “An idea?” 

After a few more taps, zayn looked up from his phone and said, “You should receive something from Amazon within a few days.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “You didn’t,” he stammered, his mouth going dry.

“I did,” zayn said, leaning back in his seat. “You should have ordered a few toys yourself instead of whining to me about your big prostate crisis.”

Harry flushed. Fingers were one thing, but putting an actual dildo in his ass? It would be kind of gay.

“Cancel the order, you tosser,” he whispered, glancing around self-consciously. 

“Nope,” Zayn said with a smirk, the asshole. “It’s a perfect solution for close-minded heteros like you: you shag all the women you want, and then go home and fuck yourself with a dildo. Don’t worry, I picked a good one for you. Nothing too big.”

Harry scrambled to his feet and stormed off. Seriously, he needed a new best friend. Screw zayn. He wasn’t going to use that dildo. He wasn’t even going to open the box when he got it.
 
* * *
 
The dildo was bright pink and stupid looking. Because of course it was. Zayn lived to mock him, the twat.

Harry scowled at the ridiculous thing, tossed it on his nightstand, and forgot all about it. He would throw it away later. But later that night, as he settled for his nightly wank, He found his gaze returning to the thing. 

He bit his bottom lip and looked away, resolved not to do it. Fingers were one thing. Sticking a cock-shaped object in his ass was completely another.

Fingers are more than enough anyway, Harry thought, circling his lubed fingers around his hole. He pushed them against the sensitive rim, hissing a little. Goddamn. Why did this feel so bloody good? He was already hard as a rock, his cock leaking against his stomach as his body trembled in anticipation.

He pushed two fingers in at once, gasping at the delicious, unnatural feeling of fullness. At this point, he kind of liked this full feeling, which freaked him out, because liking prostate stimulation was one thing, but liking having things in his ass was probably a little gay. No offense to gay dudes who liked having things in their asses.

But fuck, this felt so good. Harry was sucking in sharp breaths as he pushed back on his fingers, moaning when his fingers grazed against his prostate. Fuuuck.

Harry’s dazed gaze fell on the nightstand again. The dildo was thicker and longer than his fingers. It would probably feel more satisfying.
 Maybe just once? Trying a dildo once wouldn’t be too gay. No one had to know. Not even Zayn.

That was how Harry found himself moaning loudly as he fucked himself with the bright pink dildo his best mate had bought for him. Shit. He knew he was loud, that he should be quieter—the walls weren’t very thick—but he couldn’t help it. He was so full. The stretch was delicious, and he couldn’t stop whining every time the dildo pushed against his overstimulated prostate.

It was almost too much and he barely had the coordination to make the dildo move in and out of him. All he wanted was to lie back and take it, to lose himself in this sensation of being fucked. Maybe he should invest in a strap-on. Maybe he should find a super open-minded girlfriend who wouldn’t mind fucking him instead of making him fuck her. 

Harry groaned at the thought, imagining a hot blonde with large breasts that would jiggle as she fucked
him with her cock -her strap-on, not her cock.

Because harry wasn’t into cock. Sex toys that looked like a cock didn’t equal a real cock.

A real cock would probably feel so much different from the dildo in his ass anyway.  Probably nowhere near as good. A real cock wouldn’t be so hard. A real cock wouldn’t be able to fuck him as hard as he wanted— Harry groaned and came, waves upon waves of toe-curling pleasure rolling over him as he clenched hard around the cock—the dildo—in his ass.

Harry sat up, still breathing raggedly, and stared at the jizz on his stomach. Holy shit. He’d never come without touching his cock at all. Not even when he was a teenager.

Sighing, he flopped back on the mattress. He didn’t bother pulling the dildo out. He knew he would be ready again in fifteen minutes, and he didn’t kid himself into thinking that he could wank without wanting something in his ass.

These days, he always seemed to want something in his ass, which was…a bit worrying. This was turning into an obsession.

Harry sighed again, running a hand over his face. Maybe he really should start looking for that open-minded girlfriend who wouldn’t mind fucking him with a strap-on.