Chapter 9 - Kelsie

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Ben ran around the room excitedly.

"Look, Big Sis, we live in a big mansion now." He yelled excitedly as he changed from running to skipping. "We have a toilet where you press a button, and your poo disappears. Isn't that cool, big Sis?"

I laughed, " Yes, it is. But you know before you were born, most houses in this country had a toilet with buttons that made your wee and poo disappear."

"Really? Big sis?" Ben asked

"Yes," I answered.

"Wow!" He exclaimed

I never realised that the war left generations of people who had never lived in a house, had clean running water, a constant food supply, or even flushable toilets.

I realised I could barely remember what a flushable toilet even looked like since I was under five years old when our section of the world was  not a victim of the war and people lived relatively free, normal lives without much fear. That changed pretty quickly, and our world changed in an instant. 

I awkwardly pushed my walker towards the ensuite. I opened the door and commanded the lights to turn on, " Command complete, ma'am" the computerised voice replied. As the lights switched on, the loud hum of an extraction fan filled my ears.

Andy was right. It was quite small, and it barely fit my walker and me. The ensuite was long and narrow, the toilet was at the very end, the sink was to the right of me, and to my left was the shower. The ensuite was very basic, with no tiles on the walls, just cold, textured cement floor, the shower was one whole piece, made of thick white plastic, with a soap holder and shelves moulded into the plastic walls and a textured plastic floor. I managed to waddle myself and my walker out of the tight, narrow ensuite. I slowly walked back to my bed and flopped onto it.

I must've fallen asleep, as I awoke with the sound of my pumping heart filling my ears, and my breathing was fast and shallow like I had just finished running . I looked around the dark room, and a small wave of confusion rushed over me, I had forgotten where I was for a second or so. My heart started pounding again as I realised that I had fallen asleep and had left Ben unsupervised for what could've been hours.

"Ben, Ben!" I yelled in panic, starting to constrict my throat. I told the lights to turn on, and the room filled with a soft golden glow. I looked over to Ben's bed, it was empty, and the room was quiet. I was distraught as I held onto my walker and pulled myself out of bed, and shuffled towards the ensuite. I frantically asked for the light to be turned on in the ensuite. The ensuite was also empty.

I started to feel as though I was close to choking, I cursed my lack of mobility and slowness, and I wanted to run out that door, up and down those halls, to find Ben. I was sobbing uncontrollably, as I exited the room.

"Ben!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I received no answer. I shuffled my way to the common dining room, hoping to find him there. Tears and snot ran down my face, I was a fucking mess. I shuffled through the  open door and found the room full of people, their laughter, and chatter were overwhelming. I knew if he was in here and I called for him he wouldn't hear me, but I tried anyway.

"Ben! Ben!" I screamed, as more tears and snot ran down my face. I couldn't even wipe the snot away, as I feared if I did, I would topple, I was very reliant on this bloody walker. I tried again and again, but my screams were lost in the laughter and chatter. I was drained of energy and an emotional mess. It was like my body couldn't handle it, so my legs felt weak, gave out on me, and I nearly collapsed. If it wasn't for nurse Travis, I would've fallen. He noticed me before I noticed him, and as he was making his way to me, that's when I started to collapse, he caught me in the nick of time. As soon as I saw a familiar face, I burst out crying again.

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