Looper | Purple Guy X Reader

Oh no, he's hot!

This was definitely not a prank, unless the whole town decided to be in on it. Not a kidnapping as well – after all, you left your house and were able to freely roam the town. And most importantly – not a dream.

You've tried everything to determine if you were in a dream – pinching different parts of your body, staring at your hands and counting your fingers, even reading the dumb slogans from the posters plastered all over the restaurant's walls. Nothing helped, and you soon realized that this was all real. You somehow teleported into a different universe.

You sat at the table, face buried in your hands, head pounding. Your hangover didn't help with the pain, nor did the screaming children running all over the place. For a second, you almost understood William's murderous intentions towards the little spawns of evil. Of course, just for a second. You weren't a raging psychopath. Though you were only a little better – a hungover college student.

-Excuse me. – You heard a voice to your left, and turned your head towards it.

Before you stood a very tired looking employee. You must have looked even worse than you felt, since he recoiled a bit upon seeing your face.

-Um, sorry but you can't sit here without ordering anything. It's the policy. – He stared at you, in all your hungover, alcohol smelling, droopy left eyelid, ruffled haired glory.

You looked at him in utter amazement. A real employee – a Fazbear's employee. You wanted to touch him and confirm that he was real but you guessed that it would count as sexual harassment. Instead, you processed the words he just spoke. Well, if this was some weird alternate reality, and you were forced into it, you might as well have some fun. What's the worst that can happen?

-Excuse me? – You opened your eyes wider, assuming the Karen formation. – I've been sitting here, waiting for my order for, – You dramatically looked to your wrist to check the time (you didn't actually own a watch). – Thirty minutes! And now you're accusing me of not ordering? This is ridiculous! – You yelled, and a couple of heads turned your way.

If you were stuck here, you needed to eat. And as it turned out, you were also penny-less. You've been using your phone for payments for a very long time, and never carried any cash with you; like a posh city resident. Except you weren't rich and you smelled like a bum.

-Oh, I'm terribly sorry! There must have been some mistake. Would you mind telling me your order again? – He apologized, and brought up a notepad.

This was getting even more fun. You barely contained a grin, as you spewed more lies.

-I ordered a large pepperoni, and a cup of water. With a refill, mind you. Oh, and I already paid for all this, so I suggest you hurry up before I call your manager! – You finished your handcrafted, magnificent Karen speech, and the employee looked almost ready to cry.

He apologized to you once again, and rushed off to place your order.

Boy, you were going to eat like royalty today.

You turned around, looking around the room. The animatronics stood on the stage, making those awful movements. Kids were running around, knocking each other over in their bloodthirsty sugar rushes. Their parents sat at the tables, and chatted away, not paying attention to where their little brats ran off to.

No wonder he was able to kill all those kids, if their parents were more focused on discussing the newest town drama than keeping an eye on their crotch goblins.

All these people looked weird, too. Well, it truly was the eighties. Their hair, their fashion, and everything was so fucking brown. Not to mention they were all allowed to smoke inside of a kids' restaurant!