Growing Wildflowers | WLW

Black Dahlia

My body goes stiff. "I don't know what you're talking about." The lie is automatic, rolls off my tongue before I give myself the option to be honest with her.

Jamie rolls her eyes. "Gwen..." She shakes her head. "What if I told you I already know your secret?" She shivers.

"We should get you home," I repeat because I don't know what else to say. She could be completely off target. She could think I have hemophobia or something else unrelated to being a vampire. "You're cold."

She presses the key into my palm. "I have a blanket in the trunk."

I get the blanket and wrap it around her shoulders.

"Why did you bring me out here?" I ask.

Jamie's eyebrows pull together. "I told you. I didn't think—"

"No," I cut her off. "If you know my 'big secret,' why would you come out here with me?"

She lets out a half-laugh, half-scoff. "You won't hurt me."

I play with a rock under the toe of my shoe, keeping my eyes focused on the ground. "I don't have control over my actions most of the time."

"Bullshit."

My eyes snap to Jamie's face.

"I trust you, Gwen."

"You shouldn't." The answer is immediate, a reflex at this point from all the self-hate I've spiraled through for the last year.

"Well... I do," Jamie says, matter-of-factly.

I push away from the car and stand in front of her, so she's stuck between the Volkswagen and my body. "Do you?" I ask, taking her chin between my fingers for the second time tonight.

She nods, represses a shiver from my touch. I can't help my lips pulling into a small smile as I turn her head to the side slowly.

"How much?" I move my lips close to her neck, hear her pulse, fast and hard.

"A lot." Her voice shakes.

"Then why is your heart racing?"

She doesn't respond. Her muscles go tense under the accusation, as if she's realizing for the first time just how heightened my senses are compared to hers.

"Are you nervous?" I press my lips to her neck, feel her pulse thud against my lips as I kiss.

Jamie's breath hitches in her chest.

"Keep breathing, Darling," I mumble against her skin and kiss again. "I don't want you to pass out."

She lets out a flustered, "Okay."

"Do you still trust me?"

She nods fast.

I open my mouth and bite gently. Jamie sucks in a sharp breath and runs her hands up my back, tangling her fingers in my hair. This would be the perfect time to drain her. Out in the forest with no one around. No witnesses. I can imagine it too clearly, clamping a hand over her mouth as I dig my teeth into her skin. She'd get one, maybe two good hits in before her body would go limp. I pull away and smile at the spot of red skin on her neck, secretly proud of myself for being able to control my thirst with her heartbeat pulsing against my lips. It's like all the tension from her body melts away as I take a step back and adjust the blanket over her chest again.

"Are you okay?" I ask. "Did I..." I don't know how to finish the question. Part of me wants her to be afraid, or nervous at least. Part of me wants her to be more aware of the damage I can do if I lose control but the other part of me wants her to trust me as much as I trust her. "Did I scare you?"

She stares at me, opens her mouth to say something but shakes her head. "You can stop asking me that," she answers. "I'm not afraid of you. You're just—" She pulls the blanket tighter around her body, "You're messing with my head."

"Sorry." I scratch the back of my neck, trying to find a reason to break eye contact. "I've never actually done anything like this before. I was..." I clear my throat. "Kind of a nerd in high school."

"You're still a nerd," she says, wrapping the blanket around me and pulling my body against hers. "Is your full name Gwendolyn?"

"Oh, God. Please don't go there," I beg and to distract her, I pull her shirt to the side and lean down to kiss her collarbone.

She giggles. "I think it's cool."

"It's not cool to be named after a character in the Spider-Man comics." Another kiss, this time at the base of her neck.

Jamie pretends like it's not working but her heart races every time I move my lips across her body. "I like it," she argues. "Gwendolyn."

The warmth of being wrapped in the same blanket as her is intoxicating and I almost lose myself in the moment when my mind snaps back to the night this all started. I was supposed to kill you.

"Gwen?" Jamie whispers in my ear as I kiss her jawline.

"Hm?"

"I want more." Her voice is soft, and her eyes are pleading when I pull away to look at her.

"Jamie, I... I can't." The guilt would be too much, knowing I killed her best friend and then made love to Jamie without telling her the truth.

"Because you're afraid you'll hurt me?"

"Because there's too much you don't know about me," I answer.

She bites her lip, thinking for a moment. "I have secrets too," she finally admits. There's a slight pause between us as I fight with my body for the second time tonight but now, for a completely different reason.

"Jamie," I sigh.

"Gwen, I don't care. Just fucking kiss me al—"

My lips are against hers before she can finish her sentence. Jamie kisses me like she's been waiting on this moment for months, like she's been dying to take a breath and I'm filling her lungs. Her hands are all over me, pulling me closer, running up the length of my back. I lift her so she's sitting on the hood of her car. Her knees part, and I'm between them without thinking, letting her wrap her legs around my waist and tangle her fingers in my hair. The blanket slips from her shoulders and I move to grab it, to pull it around her body again, but Jamie intercepts my hands and places them on her hips. I dig my fingers into her, pull her impossibly closer as she bites my bottom lip.

Electricity rips through my insides.

Her hands find mine, moving my fingers to her thighs but I freeze. "Jamie." I hate myself for letting my voice shake. I killed your best friend. I open my mouth, close it again.

Jamie looks at me, her arms still draped around my neck, her eyebrows pulling together in concern. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think your secrets are as bad as mine," I admit.

"Gwen." She sighs and slides off the hood of the car.

"I'm serious," I insist, moving away from her. "I don't think you understand the scope of this whole thing."

She crosses her arms over her chest. "I think I do."

"How?" I don't mean for the word to come out as sharp as it does.

A hint of a smile plays at Jamie's lips as she leans against the vehicle. "The same way I knew you weren't a new student who wanted to join the Bolton County Climate Club when we met."

My blood runs cold. "You... knew?"

Jamie approaches me slowly and rests her hand on the side of my neck. "Promise me you won't run."

I watch her closely, my chest unmoving. I can't breathe. I nod, not because I want to, but because if Jamie doesn't get to the point, my chest is going to explode. The only way she'd know the truth is if... No. Jamie pulls the door open and slides her hand under the driver's seat. When she turns around, I flinch. In her hand, is a wooden stake tucked neatly into a leather holster.