Where's My Love? - Lo'ak

Chapter 56: The Pain That Follows

Lo'ak's eyes shift from his family to his sweet Esmyrie who is covered in her own blood.

The third stage of grief: Bargaining.

"I-it could be me..." Lo'ak whispers, his gaze moving to Esmyrie, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Lo'ak..."

"No! I.. I could die instead! I just need to ask Eywa! I just... Eywa just needs to hear my pray and then... It can be me! It can be me!" Lo'ak yells.

And never in Jake and Neytiri's life have they seen their boy drop to the ground so quickly to give a prayer to Eywa. It was gut wrenching to watch, because Jake knows deep down his son believes this could work. That he could take his life for Esmyrie's.

Jake goes to the ground with his son, his gaze moving to his family, where Kiri is now moving to Esmyrie, clearing her hair out of the girls face, and Neteyam is shushing Tuk as best he can while he continues to cry. Spider, the boy who seems so confused and scared, who has marks on his back, sits there quietly, as if he was intruding on something.

"Son, that won't work."

"I... It could! It will! I just need to take my life for hers! Dad, give me my knife. I'll take my life and you'll see! You'll see that I'm right! You'll see that Eywa hears my prayers and will resurrect her!" Lo'ak begins grabbing for his knife but his dad holds him back, tears falling down Jake's face.

He son is wishing for death right now, and it pains him to his core. Not to mention they girl he put his promises in to protect is now dead. Lifeless. A corpse.

"Lo'ak, baby boy please listen to yourself." Neytiri cries.

The thought of Neytiri losing one of her children pains her to her core. She already lost one child that felt like her own, she won't lose another.

Lo'ak looks at them confused. Why are they saying these things? They have wanted him gone for so long.... so why the sudden need to save him?

"Dad... It could work..." Lo'ak cries out, his eyes moving to his mate, feeling all connection with her gone.

That man made her suffer. That man ripped out all connection she had with the world, with Pandora. With her mate, him.

The fourth stage of grief: Depression

Why the other three stages went quickly, this stage held onto the boy tightly, as if promising the boy it is going to be there for awhile.

He gives up his fighting on trying to grab his knife back from his father, and crawls over to his mate, putting her cold hands in his.

Cold hands. Dead hands.

His mate is dead.

He lets the tears fall rapidly again, hugging onto her tightly, her limbs being limp.

"Ma Esmyrie! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! You're okay now. I got you. I got you! I won't let anything hurt you ever again. Okay? Okay? I won't let you get hurt...." Her eyes are still open.

Jake knows they need to head to the village soon. That the Clan is waiting for them. That they need to get ready for war, and for Esmyrie's ceremony, but how is he suppose to break this news to Lo'ak? To his entire family?

"Son... Let's take her back to the village." Jake tries, but Lo'ak keeps shaking the girl, leaving kisses on her mouth, whispering words that don't reach the fathers ears.

Neteyam can see the struggle his father is facing, and as much pain as he feels, he knows Esmyrie's body deserves the proper care before she is returned to Eywa.