Never let you down again

Chapter 4

Prepare for some angst, please – a lot of angst.

Trigger warnings : mentions of sexual assualt, panic attacks, dissociation and mention of child abuse.

And surprise! I decided to add one more chapter to this story

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Touya was like a silent ghost after his return from the hospital. He didn't leave his room nor interact with anyone. He just stared into nothingness as if he wasn't aware of his surroundings; lost in his own world. The only thing that kept Endeavor relieved was that Touya was eating, not that he was eating much because the doctor said because of his life on the streets, Touya's stomach was used to the lack of food. Sometimes, Touya barely touched his plates and he looked more withdrawn with every passing day. Endeavor felt so helpless as to what he could do except let Touya go to therapy and the doctor's visits that must be done weekly to speed up his recovery.

Even though his son didn't want to see anyone and he thought someone would attack him whenever the door of his room was opened, Endeavor couldn't help but check on his son every hour because he was afraid of Touya leaving or someone kidnapping him without him realizing.

And he felt helpless when his other children wanted to be with Touya, but he had told them to give Touya some space and not to overwhelm him. Natsuo had thrown a tantrum while Fuyumi had cried and Shoto kept hiding in the corner, not wanting Endeavor to see him (even if Endeavor knew of his presence)  but he wanted to know why they couldn't see their older brother. 

It was after a week that Endeavor heard the screaming and the pleadings for help again. He thought someone broke inside Touya's room and with his heart beating so rapidly in his chest and his body was gripped by fear 'What if I'm late? What if I'm late?' – the words kept running through his mind. He felt like he was in a daze as he ran to Touya's room. His quirk was ready to be unleashed on whoever wanted to hurt his son. He yanked the door open as soon as he arrived, fire coating his face like a beard and his anger was rising with every moment that passed, but what greeted him wasn't what he had expected; there was no villain. Endeavor was startled from the scene in front of him and he couldn't do anything for a moment because his son was glued to one of the corners in his room as if he was trying to blend with the wall. Touya looked so lost, trembling with muffled cries and sobs between his pleadings to not be touched and that he didn't want to hurt anymore. He looked heartbreakingly small and Endeavor's anger left him in an instant.

He could hear Touya gasping for air as if he couldn't breathe, but he didn't stop his pleadings –

"Please, enough — please — I don't want —"

Was this how his son sounded when he pleaded with whoever was hurting him? Anger flared inside him again at the thought of someone hurting his son, but the anger wasn't compared to the fear he felt for his son's health and the helplessness that he couldn't prevent the horrors Touya had witnessed because they had already happened.

He pushed down the anger and any emotion he felt at this moment because he wanted to focus on his son. 

"Touya," He said in a quiet, soft voice as if he was afraid his son would break even more if he raised his voice. He crouched in front of his son to be on the same level, but he didn't touch him; afraid that Touya would spiral into his panic even more. "No one will hurt you here, Touya. You're not there." He said. "You need to breathe in deeper for me, okay? I count to four, you slowly inhale, then you hold your breath as I count to eight, then you slowly exhale while I count to seven, okay? Four, eight, seven, okay?”

Endeavor was never a patient man, but he could do this for his son as he said the numbers over and over again. Touya deserved everything and Endeavor would make sure that he would get it, that he would be safe and he wanted to assure him that he would never return to live on the streets –