stuttered words

1.

1. - 2018

When Charles joined the travelling circus, he was aware of the fact that his long-time crush, Max Verstappen had not only been competing for three years, but is considered to be the youngest talent of the rising motorsport. He and Max never really talked, and they never tried to befriend each other. And for the sake of God, Charles hoped it would stay that way. How embarrassing is it, when you fall in love with your competitor, who you don't even talk with, just casually nod to each other when you pass each other in the paddock?

And yes, after like 8 years of having a huge crush on him, he finally admitted to himself that he loved him. 8 years ago, he came across a video of him, while being incredibly bored, and he clicked on it. Is it possible to develop a crush after watching just a video? Some say not. Charles just loved watching him laugh, smile, even just to concentrate on something. And this slowly started to grow, giving birth to the butterflies in his stomach every time they were near each other.

Just a couple years later, in 2017, he accidentally heard the news the mechanics were gossiping. Max was dating Dilara Sanlik, which completely broke Charles' heart, even though he wasn't even close with the Red Bull driver. He cried that day. He felt pathetic after.

~~~~~~~~~~

The drivers got together for a New Years party at the end of the year. Charles was invited, and he was actually enjoying it. He couldn't wait until he was finally part of this group. He worked hard for this. He already signed his contract.

He started to feel dizzy around 3 am. He went out to get some fresh air, and saw Max hanging his feet inside the pool, wetting his usual skinny jeans.

-Hey... you, okay? - Charles asked carefully. Max seemed to have a deep moment, and he didn't really want to disturb.

He seemed to shake out of the melancholy he was in just a moment ago.

-Oh, yeah mate, everything is fine! - he smiled with a totally fake smile. Max could never fake a smile.

Charles sat down next to him, as a comfortable silence hung around them. Max seemed to be quite drunk, considering the next thing he said.

-No, actually. - Charles knew Max doesn't really open up to people, who he's not close to, so this was really weird for him.

Max started to explain his literal life to Charles, who he had no idea, was having the biggest crush on him.

- I just don't love her. How could I date a girl, when I have a crush on someone else? - He seemed to talk only to himself not realizing the person he was explaining this to, is Charles.

-Wait...a girl? You have a crush on a boy? - Charles tried to steady his breath, seemingly not coming to the realization that Max looked like he just sobered out, and looked terrified.

-I...no- I- I have to go. - he jumped so quickly, Charles didn't have any time to respond.

-No, wait, Max, I have to say s-

Even if Max heard what he tried to say, he was already far enough for Charles to not be able to catch up to him.