insecure || Elliana

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My brain is trying to process what just happened.

Jenna left me, I got off at the wrong stop, ran into the woods, got attacked by a weird creature, a girl with armour on saved me, and then told me she was a fairy. And now I'm her friend, and I could be dead for this, and we're walking around even though we very well should not.

We stroll around in silence, and soon she grabs my left palm, and I hold onto her right one, which was cold and covered in scratches with dry blood protruding from them. I stare into her green eyes, which were dark and reminded me of a mermaids scales, and I stroked my finger through her shoulder length scarlet hair, which was straight and flat, contrasting with my curly, voluminous blonde locks. They used to be brown, but I died it, as it was one of my insecurities. But now I'm just insecure about it's healthiness. 

I'm also really short, only 5 feet, and the number on the scale is too large, and my nose is too small, my thighs aren't thin enough, my stomach isn't flat enough, everything is wrong with me.

"Are you insecure?" Briar asks, and I felt like she read my mind.

"Always." I reply. "There are these girls, at school, one used to be my ex-best friend, have such perfect hair, bodies, everyone thinks their so cool, I just," I look at her, and she gives me an emphatic smile. "I wish I was them sometimes."

"I get what you mean," Briar replies. "Everyone hated me where I work. I'm the youngest, we have this thing called the rule of legacy, meaning whenever your parents die, it doesn't matter if your 5 or 50, you need to take over their role in society. I'm only 12, there's at least a 5 year age gap between me and the second youngest worker." I sigh, I've definitely felt like that. People always said I was too young to be in a relationship, even though I was only a few months younger than Piper. Even my mom hated Gavin, and as much as she gets on my nerves, she was right about him.

"I'm also the tallest. As we get older, we get shorter, until we stop shrinking. And since I'm the youngest, I'm the tallest. I also don't have a fairy voice, hair or wings yet, which I only get on my 16th birthday." We stop, and look at each other. "I get made fun of all the time, and people basically say I look like a human, not like that's a bad thing. I'd actually love to be one of you guys." She added. 

Without thinking, I grab her, and pull her into a tight hug, radiating her freezing, pale skin with warmth. "It'll be ok," I whisper. "We can support each other."

"Yeah," Briar replies, wiping away the tear away from her dark eyelids that sat on her snow-white face. "That'll be really-,"

She was interrupted by a loud buzz from my back pocket on my black straight leg jeans, and I tried to ignore it, but the vibrations kept getting stronger.

"One second," I say, pulling away from the hug, and grabbing my phone. The contact "Yolanda.", was calling me, on emergency call. I call my mom by her first name because she's not really a mom too me, she's a boss. I answer it quickly.

"Elliana Kathryn Walmsley! It's been an hour and a half since school ended, where are you? I was about to call the f*cking police. Answer me! Answer."

"Oh, mom, I'm sorry, the bus was delayed, it won't happen again."  I stammer, now realising how long it had been.'

"Don't 'I'm sorry' me!" She screams into my phone, so loud I had to lower the volume on my phone to the lowest setting, where I could still clearly hear what she was saying. "What were you doing, playing with boys? I want you home in the next 15 minutes, and I don't care how you get there! Otherwise, you're grounded, I'll take away your phone, and by the way, I'm cancelling your summer dance school." 

"No mom, you can't cancel my dance school! This is the first time, and I'll be home in a minute." I try to negotiate.

"You shouldn't be talking back young lady! Why didn't you answer all of my texts then? Snapchat, WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, TikTok, all of these social media's I let you have, but I've messaged you multiple times on all of them, and I've gotten no replies! First thing first when you're home, we're deleting all of them."

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