𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐳 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 | 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐚

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

I draw.

Right now my bed is littered with three teenage boys and my brother is slumped back into my hanging egg chair.

With ease I pull myself over Notti, sneaking out of the bed and towards my window. I slyly open it silently praying that the rusty creak awakes no one. When I make it outside successfully I wince as the noise sounds again when I pull it closed.

My art supplies remains where I left them yesterday.

As I take my spot perched against the rough brick of my building I take notice of how dark it is outside.

I could tell you what time it is based on the colors of the sky if you'd like.

The top is almost pitch black, but as you lower your gaze the darkness transforms into a deep purple. Beneath the purple dark blue forms and blends into a lighter blue.

A blue like the ocean, not American waters no. The blue blends into a lighter blue like the ocean from my father's home. The water surrounding Samoa. Yeah, that's a perfect comparison.

Peeking through the blue though is a golden yellow.

Realistically, I know it is the sun rising. But when my mother died, and my fire escape became my solace, the sun when first rising with no definite shape, just a spreading soft glow in the distance, kinda looked like heaven's gates. 

In the early morning, the sky looks like heaven, and I wonder if this is what my parents expected when they looked at me. Did they expect me to be as beautiful as the morning sky? Was I supposed to speak to people as it did to me?

I think my name means cloudy sky. I pull the sketchbook from the ground and onto my sweatpants-clad legs.  My hand has a mind of its own as the shading reveals a dark angry cloud. And behind it, a sheltered sun.

It's 4: 58.
My friends and my brother remain asleep in my room, I crane my head to peer into the dark room, seeing the yellow glow swim on my walls.

They look peaceful when they sleep.

With a sigh, I heave myself up and travel back into my room, stopping at my dresser and pulling the top drawer which revealed all of our phones.

Quietly I pull mine out clutching it in my hand as I creep from the room. When I reach my living room I turn my phone over, the screen immediately lights up.

I am not surprised when I see the large number of notifications glaring back at me. I click the first one I see and it's a post from the localdrillny page. They had been covering me a lot lately.