this charming man - j.k.

fifteen

Juliette's POV

It was Monday. Tonight was their gig. I had no idea what to do.

Do I go? Do I stay home? I told Josh I'd try, but that was before, whatever you call it, happened.

I wanted to talk to him again. I missed him so much. I didn't want to push him away though. I think that was one of my biggest problems. I always wanted the other person to feel the best.

I wanted them to have the upper hand. Do what they wanted. Them to be happy. It seemed terrible, but I would feel bad if it was the opposite.

Throughout the school day, I'd tell myself, 'if he talks to me, even smiles, I'll go tonight.'

All day, every time I walked in the halls, I watched for him. I saw him once, going to 4th period. He never saw me.

I just wish I knew what to say. I wanted to fix this—somehow. I hated how quick we just stopped. It didn't feel right. Every night I laid awake, staring at my ceiling as if the popcorned ceiling would tell me what to do.

I walked in the house to not see anyone.

"Mom?" I asked.

"In here." She said from the other end of the house..

"Where's Jay?" I asked stepping into her room. She sat on her bed watching whatever reality show was playing.

"He's with Danny and Sam." She said.

"Oh." I said, my voice sounding disappointed.

"Are you going to their show?" She asked lightly. She tried to avoid saying his name. I had talked to her about it a few times, but even my mother always came to a loss for words.

"I don't know." I said. I looked at her hoping she could tell me what to do.

"Do you want to go?" She asked.

I paused for a moment thinking about my answer. "I do, but I don't want to make Josh upset."

"Why would he be upset?" She asked confused.

"I don't know. I just feel like if he saw me there, he'd be upset." I said.

"Juliette, if anything, I think this might be a way to talk to him. Think about it." She said. She watched my movements trying to read me. My mom was like a profiler, it was kind of odd.

"I just wish I knew how he felt. I haven't talked to him since Thursday, all he did was look at me on Friday, and that's it." I said.

"I know honey, but he probably just feels confused like you. You two have to talk eventually. Unless you want to be obsessed with your highschool love when you're married to another guy in your 40s." She described. I giggled at the analogy, kind of knowing she was right.

"Okay." I said pausing. "I'm gonna go, but I'm going to be late, on purpose."

"Do what you need to do." She said smiling. I nodded with a slight amount of confidence built up. I knew it would wear off soon, and I'd be a mess.

Nonetheless, I began to prepare for my night.

I looked at the clock. 5:30. They should be starting right now. I decided to leave right about now, so I would be late but not miss them.

Even if things didn't work out, I still wanted to be there for Danny mostly. I had grown to like Sam and Jake, of course, but I liked to think of Danny as a little brother. We were only a year apart, but everything about him was just adorable to me. He didn't annoy me in the way Jaylen did.