Petunia's Last Laugh at Dumbledore

Prologue: Petunia is Plotting

All rights for anything from the plot, storyline and characters are the work of J. K. Rowling. Anything you don't recognize is the plot and storyline of the fanfiction I created around the idea of Petunia not being as bad, Dumbledore messing up big time with his manipulations, and Harry not taking anyone's shit, like he did before. 

Petunia Dursley may be a lot of things, a nosy busybody, a normal upstanding woman and a spiteful bint being a few of the things various groups of people commonly called her. Despite this, however, a stupid woman she was not. She knew the moment she laid eyes on the tot on her doorstep with those great, bright green peepers, she knew her sister was either dead or completely indisposed for the foreseeable future. The letter just confirmed it and told her that now the boy had a target on himself, and so did she and her family. She also knew that Harry would never have a moment of peace once he returned to his world. 

What did she do? She immediately started planning and plotting how best to protect her family and Harry, he was still family and she did care for him on a shallow level. She remembered Lily telling her there were other schools of magic in Europe, on the Continent, one in France and the other in Northern Scandinavia if her memory was correct. The one in Northern Scandinavia taught students to use or know about the more questionable martial magicks also, from what Lily told her about the school, which in Petunia's opinion was sensible, how in blazes do you defend yourself with counter-spells and defensive magic only?! The only remotely offensive spells she knew were taught at Hogwarts were stunners, low-level blasting curses and weak cutting curses usually used in a kitchen or potions lab, and some Transfigurative spells, at least according to Lily, who was frustrated with this, along with her husband and his friends, who chafed under their orders of stunning and no maiming during their war. A war which Lily kept her updated about so that she could be ready if need be. 

So, even all those years beforehand, she decided. She didn't like the Headmaster of Hogwarts, she found him too manipulative, especially after he effectively trapped Lily and James under a Fidelius of his own making that oh so conveniently failed, plus the magicks taught at Hogwarts, and that which they refused to teach in Britain, and all these factors immediately took Hogwarts out of the running. Beauxbatons seemed alright until she learned that they maintained good ties with Hogwarts and Britain. 

That left Durmstrang, the Scandinavian school, the one that taught outside of the light and dark views of Britain, the best in her opinion, as she didn't particularly fancy having to fund sending Harry to Japan, Russia or America. France or Norway was bad enough. She also devised a plan for it to happen, planning to go to Diagon with Harry after he gets his Hogwarts letter to switch schools and get him set up. That said, while Vernon may not have liked the boy as much, Harry receiving the smallest bedroom and being subjected to Vernon's harder, firmer side being proof, the boy was disadvantaged. Maybe the home environment for the boy wasn't the best, but he wouldn't be denied his place among those of his kind. 

That aside, she appreciated the extra help she received around the house due to Vernon's belief that the boy should learn to earn his keep. Vernon also got Dudley in this mindset as the boy grew, Vernon's belief being they needed to be prepared for things to take a turn and that making sure the boys could take of themselves was paramount. Petunia also liked Harry's quieter nature, it made for comfortable and peaceful moments when compared to Dudley, something she would rather miss, on top of having someone who appreciated and even dare she say enjoyed the art of cooking. 

So, Petunia went about life, Vernon spending weekdays at Grunnings for work, Dudley and Harry being young children until school, teaching Harry life skills that Dudley didn't have much wish for, telling Harry about how Dumbledore had led his parents to death and done many other bad things, and preparing for when she would reveal her full plan to Vernon and later enacting it. 

Yes, Petunia Dursley was not a stupid woman and she would have the last laugh on the chess master who offered her sister up on a platter to a madman and condemned a young boy to orphanhood because of a prophecy that might not have been enacted if he hadn't forced it to happen through his manipulations. If Petunia had anything to say about it, Dumbledore would rue the day he ever thought he could cross the sisters Evans as he had and get away with it, and how better than to make sure the pawn he had most certainly wanted to be malleable and ignorant was the opposite? Oh, how she wished she could see his face when his precious little plans crumbled around him! Dumbledore would never see it coming.