Where's My Love? - Lo'ak

Chapter 50: Pain Will Always Win

"I saw the Tulkun die." Esmyrie whispers, he eyes shining with tears.

"No... no you didn't." Lo'ak tries to deny.

"I'm sorry, Lo'ak. But I did... these visions, they are actually happening. We need to tell Mr. Sully. We need to tell him about the Tulkun." Esmyrie says sadly, grabbing onto the boys arm, as his hands are still injured.

She can tell that the boy is about to collapse to the ground, the reality setting in, that the visions in fact are true, and real, and are happening.

"Okay... okay. We tell my dad. He will know what to do." Lo'ak nods his head.

"And Neteyam?" Esmyrie asks.

"If we tell him about Neteyam he won't be in the right mindset... I know my father, he may be an ass sometimes but that news would break him. Not to mention Neteyam wouldn't care. He is too selfless, he would risk his life for us. If we tell him, he may even put himself in more danger because he would accept his fate." Lo'ak tries to explain.

And Esmyrie has to agree. She knows Neteyam. He is fierce, and strong, and a warrior. He would accept his fate, and put himself in even more danger as he wants to live up to his father. He would use his fate as a gift, and would throw himself into any situation without thinking about it, because his one goal would be to protect.

"Oh Eywa.... my brother is going to die, isn't he?" Lo'ak whispers, his brain betraying him to show the visions Esmyrie showed him once more.

He can't accept that truth. He can't accept that this is happening, that Eywa is being this cruel, showing them the future, warning them, but still making it so they can't change fate.

"No." Esmyrie says confidently. "We will save him. We will." Esmyrie says, pulling the boy to her.

She has seen many fears in life and has faced much grief. The loss of her mother, the first sadness she every experienced. She never met her mother, but when she was young and saw all the children with both parents, she couldn't help but wonder why she didn't have a mother. And so, she went and asked her father, and her father told her the sad truth that her mother is gone. Her most painful grief, losing her father. She felt gone, like she was taken from the world as well. She still has days where she can't think about him, because if she does she will end up crying.

But all that grief couldn't prepare her for this. She is grieving for someone that isn't even gone yet. She is grieving for a future, one that is surely meant to come true, but desperately hopes it doesn't. She shouldn't be grieving, Neteyam is still alive, he is still here, and yet she feels like she already lost him. Like she is slowly losing him.... and it's a horrid feeling.

"You can't say that." Lo'ak shakes his head. "You don't know... Eywa herself showed you that he dies!"

"But we won't let that happen. I won't let that happen. I may not know when or by who, but I know the vague timeline. I can use what Eywa has showed me to my advantage. We can save him. We will. But first we must warn Jake of the Tulkun. He will know what to do." Esmyrie says, trying to keep her mind focused on the task at hand.

"Esmyrie...." Lo'ak says, his voice turning rough as a new thought enters his mind.

He has heard how confident Esmyrie is in saving Neteyam. He see's the look of pure faith, that they will save him, and it frightens him beyond belief.

"I know what you are going to ask Lo'ak, and I won't promise it." Esmyrie says, already seeing the worry in his eyes, knowing the scenario that has just been placed in his mind.

She isn't lying when she says she would sacrifice herself for Neteyam, she just always hoped Lo'ak would never come to that conclusion, but it seems he just has.