imagines | newjeans ✔

(request) danielle › moonlight (pt. one)

"Sorry about that, mom, dad, and Mr. and Mrs. Marsh! I just really missed Dani!" You exclaimed as you threw your arms around her neck. Danielle smiled up at you (you're currently a little taller than her) sweetly.

Your mother rolled her eyes playfully, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Honey, you saw her yesterday." She teased.

You pouted and looked away bashfully. "Whatever!"

Ten minutes later, you and Danielle were sitting at a table in a café, your parents sitting at one not too far from you. You gave Danielle a smitten smile as you watched her talk about a project she was assigned in one of her classes.

"-and Owen was kind enough to offer to help me out with it, so he's coming over to mine afterschool on Monday." She finished, taking a sip of her smoothie afterwards.

Your smile dropped and you nearly choked on your drink, which you were in the middle of drinking from. A boy was going to be coming over to Danielle's house afterschool? To work on her project? Why couldn't she just come to you like she normally does? Since you're two grades above due to skipping a couple, she regularly comes to you for help when she doesn't understand her schoolwork, or when she needs help doing something-like a project. And how come she's never even mentioned this boy to you before? The smile on her face looked a bit too giddy for your liking. You don't know what it is that you're feeling, but you didn't like it at all. You just felt so upset.

"Y-You're... Who's Owen?" You questioned.

Danielle giggled shyly as she swirled her straw around in her drink. "He's just this boy in my English class. I think... I think I might have a tiny little crush on him, though." She muttered.

Your body stiffened, and your hands began to fidget in your lap. She likes someone? For some reason, you felt even more upset. You don't know why those words felt so bitter in your head-you don't have a clue, you're still young, after all. But what you do know is that you already don't like this Owen guy at all.

🌒

It's two years later, the both of you are fifteen, and things are still the same. That is, in the sense that you and Danielle are still best friends, much to your dislike.

And that's not to say that you don't want to be friends with her-no, that's not it at all. While you still want to forever remain her best friend, you want to be more. You want to be her best friend, but you also want to be the one to hold her in a way so that she knows you love her, you want to be the one to kiss her, you want to be the one to hold her hand-not in the way that you always have, platonically, but in a way that lets everybody know that she's taken. These are feelings that you've come to terms with over the last couple of years. After you found out she had a crush back in middle school, you decided to explore the emotions you were feeling with the help of Google and your parents.

You eventually came to the conclusion that you had a big fat crush on Danielle, your best friend since childhood. The girl that you've always played with, always laughed with, always cried with, and always protected. The very same girl who just crushed your hopes of ever having a chance with her.

It was a late Friday night. Your parents were asleep, and Danielle was over for your weekly sleepover, a tradition you started when you were ten, and have still kept up to this day. You and Danielle were sitting at the edge of the pool in the backyard, your legs gently moving back and forth in the crystal clear water. There was a serene silence hanging in the air around you as the both of you listened to the quiet music playing from the speaker you set down on the back patio behind you. It was Danielle's idea to come out here and stargaze.

"Hey, Dani," You called out. Your voice came out meekly, which was unusual for you.

Danielle averted her gaze from the night sky to you, a curious glint in her eyes. "Yes?"

"I've got something to tell you."

Danielle was shocked to see you look down shyly. In the several years that she's known you, she's never seen you get so quiet and timid. You looked nervous, which instinctively made her worry.

You were also worried, but not for the same reason she was. You were worried about her reaction to what you were about to tell her. Deep down, you know she would never judge you, but the fact that there was a chance, albeit a very thin one, that she could react badly, even in the slightest sense, scared you. I mean, this is your best friend, the one person that you know, at the end of the day, has your back, and you have hers. Your home. You can't afford to lose her. But you also can't continue keeping this secret from her.

So you took a deep breath. You felt her hand on top of yours, and your heart nearly beat out of your chest. The close proximity between the two of you didn't help. You gulped.

"I'm..."

"You are?"

You looked up at her and decided to just rip the bandaid off. "I'm lesbian."

It went silent. It felt as though the air around you completely stilled and all of the oxygen was taken from your lungs. You watched as her jaw dropped.

And then, "Why were you so nervous to tell me that?" That was the first thing she said.

You can't exaggerate how big of a sigh of relief you let out after that statement. Your eyes scanned over her face. She didn't seem to be mad or disappointed or disgusted, which was more than a win in your book.

You bit your lip to contain the smile threatening to take over your expression. "I-I don't know. I know you would never, but my brain couldn't help but think of the worst case scenario, which would be you being disgusted with me and leaving me all alone." You admitted bashfully, looking down at your thighs.

You heard her laugh quietly, a pretty, silvery sound like music to your ears. Then you felt her hand under your chin, lifting your head up and tilting it to face her. She wore a soft smile on her face, her eyes full of nothing but love. You couldn't but drown in the warm brown.

"Y/N, I couldn't hate you even if I tried. You're my everything, I wouldn't leave you behind because of something like this. Who you love doesn't change how I see you, and I see you as the moon in my night sky, don't forget that." She said.

Your eyes nearly watered due to her words. And without thinking, a question you've been dying to know the answer to left your mouth before you could stop it.

"Do you... Would you ever... Y'know, date a girl?" You asked quietly.

She removed her hand from your chin and moved her gaze back to the pool water, letting a light sigh slip past her lips. "No. I don't swing that way. I just don't see myself getting with someone of the same sex."

And just like that, your world, your beliefs and hopes that you ever had a chance with her, all came crashing down with that response. What did you expect, though? She would never see you as anything more than a friend.

"I see."

You never stood a chance.