Lust Or Love

Chapter 4: The Start of Sin

The next few weeks were full of some of the most embarrassing, educational, and empowering days of his after life. Starting with a little talk and some gifts when they'd ended their first day. The two men each gave him a "toy" to experiment with. They told him how they worked and even supplied all of the necessary elements like lube and massage oil. Every day afterward, they asked him if he'd been using the toys, and he lied and said he had, but they always called him out on the bluff. Every night he would go home and stare at the things without a modicum of an idea how to use them and chicken out before even getting undressed.

Something he had found a bit of enjoyment in was their process of getting used to the clothing. He didn't have to wear them out on the street, at first, but was told to walk around his apartment in them every day to get used to the feeling. So he had. Their shopping trip had been a successful one resulting in him getting the black dress, and finding a few others in the same material, but different styles and colors. They'd also made sure to get him a few alternative choices too that were a bit more masculine. Things like a few pairs of well fitting, black pants, some with a few chains hanging from them, and some without, as well as some button up dress shirts. Those he would wear constantly, because they weren't "men's" shirts, but "women's", and that made them softer, flowier, and lightweight.

Looking at the calendar tied his stomach in knots. September first was tomorrow and now that he'd had a chance to peak into Angel's world, he knew he was still woefully unprepared to be in it himself. 'It's for Angel's freedom, Arackniss. You've gotta pull this off.' His eyes darted over to the box sitting on top of his dresser. He'd set it there in the beginning to try and convince himself to use the toys inside, but every time he looked at them he wanted to run away and hide. It wasn't like anyone was going to see them, or see him use them. At least... not in the comfort and safety of his own apartment, but the thought still freaked him out. He knew better, though. Knew he was going to have to face this one way or another, since he'd volunteered for it. He had to keep reminding himself of that, otherwise he'd start cursing others and saying they forced him. He wasn't forced to do anything. Hell, if anything Angel had begged him not to and he'd ignored it, so it was all his fault in the first place.

Sighing, Arackniss crossed the room until he was standing in front of the box, staring down at it's plain black lid and sides. The small silver logo on the top was a reminder that he'd taken the high heels Angel had forced him to buy out of it and filled it with all of the things they'd given him instead. Mostly because it was better than leaving them out where he could actually see them in front of him. As he lifted the lid, the sound of the doorbell had his heart on the ceiling. Slamming the lid back down, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself before clearing his throat and leaving his bedroom. Another ring of the doorbell sounded when he was only a few feet away from it and he couldn't tell if the person outside was simply impatient, or if he'd actually taken that long to come to the door. Swinging the panel open, Arackniss paused with a frown and furrowed brow. Outside stood Chardenay, dressed as meticulously as always. The rain that was pouring down clearly hadn't stopped the blond from looking as good as he always did, because today he wore a black trench coat and knee high boots that were obviously water proof. "Hi." It was the only word that came to his mind at the sight.

"Hi." The simple reply was followed by an awkward moment of silence between them. What was he supposed to say when his father's boyfriend showed up on his doorstep this late at night? "Can I come in? It's a bit... wet... out here." Char motioned behind him at the slick street and Arackniss nodded.

"Of course! Of course, I'm sorry I just... uh... I didn't expect you to drop by." He stepped back and made sure the blond was fully inside before closing the door. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Chardenay smiled.