When You're In Love with a girl

Chapter 11, Run Together

RUN TOGETHER

We get our English test results back. Tom reaches our his hand to. me and we high-five. The only perfect scores in the whole class. "All that studying paid off," he says and grins.

***

Tom is coming over to my house, again. It has become a bit of a daily habit, now, I suppose.... Although.. each time carries risk because Mom would probably get suspicious if she knew how often he came over. My mom believes that as a girl I can't be friends with the opposite sex, it has to have romantic undercurrents. How wrong she is! Our friendship is as pure as snow. Tom knows not to do anything stupid. We're good friends like that.

It takes careful maneuvering to make sure no one sees Tom entering our apartment. It is easy today because Mom is at a meeting with some other YouTubers, Dad is at work, and Sam is at football practice, so Tom comes in easily. I've even given him a copy of the key I made.

There's something so trustworthy in him. I don't know why, but I trust that boy more than I trust my mother, father, and brother combined. That's probably wrong of me to believe, but I believe it anyway. Perhaps it is because he is like my soulmate. He is someone exactly like myself. We are mirrors to each other and our ideas, beams of light, reflect off each other's surfaces.

"Tom, come in!" I usher him in.

It's an hour after school. He told me he lives a quick ten minute walk away, so it's okay for him to go to his house first, than mine. "Have you solved my mystery I gave you?" he says with a smile, hanging up his light coat because it is already October, the air getting chilly in New York City.

We've been writing each other little mysteries, inspired by the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a childhood favorite of both of ours. "No, not yet. I'm still pondering," I tell him as we walk to my room. Conveniently, my room is closest to the door, so it's easy for Tom to sneak out after our meetings. I lock the door and we talk about books we're reading and complain about the boring stuff we're doing in school.

I show Tom a cool website that lets you learn college courses for a short fee and we make a pact to learn our respective courses three times a week after school.

Tom sees my saxophone case, lying on the ground by my bed. "Oh, is that a trumpet or a saxophone?"

I guess he's never known that I play saxophone. It just never came up. "Alto saxophone," I tell him.

"That's cool," he says, and he sounds slightly wistful. "My mom never let me play an instrumentt... she always said that it was too expensive...."

We walk to the kitchen area and I glance back at him. There's that saddened expression on his face. I don't think he knows he has it.

"Do you want to go to a library? We can print our English essays there," I say. Maybe going to a library will cheer him up. Sometimes Tom can be so elated and on top of the world, but then something comes and drags him down and he's the most depressed, poor little thing in the world.

"Sure," he says, sounding a bit listless. His eyes have lost a bit of their glow.

I don't know what to say. What made him so upset? "You look empty," I tell him.

"I'm not hungry...." he says with no aggression. He smiles apologetically, but I can sort of tell his heart's not with the smile. "Sorry, I'm just thinking about stuff."

We grab apples and Tom directs us the way to his favorite local library, the one with the literature shelf.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask.

"Just life... school sucks." He looks suddenly invigorated. He stops himself. "I can't take it sometimes. People who don't understand. People who won't ever care to know..."

I open the door and I'm surprised to see that his eyes are wet, tears falling from his eyes. I want to ask if he's okay, but I don't know if I should... I'm not his family, I'm just some random kid from school he hangs out with after school. "Everyone..." I say. Everyone loves you, is what I mean, but I leave the rest unspoken.

"Yeahh..." He looks me straight in the eyes and twists my words. "Everyone is my enemy."

We sit down on some soft chairs. "Am I?" I ask, and never have I hated my own voice so much, so unable of subtlety.

Tom stares into my face with a conflicted expression on his face. "Face it, Alie! You'll never be my friend!" And he is now shouting. A librarian walks over to us and tells us to leave.

I feel my eyes sting. Somehow, I have formed such a deep relationship with someone I just met that his words can kill. I take a step back and stumble over a coffee table, knocking over a book rack.

I can't think of anything to say. Tom has been a better friend to me these past two months than my whole family has been my whole life. No one has treated me as he has. What, what, what in the world does he mean?

I think I know what he means.

The librarian pushes us outside and closes the door.

Tom looks at me in a much kinder manner; still, he has no trace of regret in his countenance.

We stand and look at each other. Never, never have I understood someone else so much. Never, have I not wanted to understand someone so much.

"Why?"

"Why? What have I done? What is it?"

"It's our fault collectively as a society." That is not something I expected him to say.

"You can't be a girl and be friends with a boy without being his lover," I say.

He nods slowly. "You can't love me, because Asian men are asexual," he says. That is exactly the opposite of what I expected him to say. He stops and his eyes close with emotion. "But I love you! I love you, you.... You are the smartest person I know. I can't help it...you.. you are..." he trails off helplessly and runs his hands through his hair, rumpling up his brown hair. He embraces me and I stay stick-still. I feel his arms shake and I think I feel his lips on mine.

I break away in horror. I was so wrong.

I start to shake. The idea that our relationship was pure! What a fantasy! He has no right, no right to love me! After we said we would be friends! "I'm not being your friend if that's what it means,"I say unsteadily.

I should have suspected something after he asked me whether I had ever kissed anybody.

He stares at me.

I walk away and don't look back. I don't think he is watching my back.

"Wait," he says harshly. "I left my backpack in your room."

We walk back. We do not walk together, anymore. Six feet distance do we keep and I can barely keep myself from screaming out at him with anger.

I lose myself in my own thoughts. All my thoughts lead to Tom.

I unlock the door to our apartment.

Sam is standing there. His face is smug. "Who's your boyfriend?"

Flustered, I rush to explain, but Sam swivels around and, much to my horror, yells to my mom, "Alie's here!"

Author's Note: Hello readers! What a chapter! Tell me, do you think it is a bit too fast paced?   

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Thank you to all my readers who have been engaging with this book! And to all my shy readers, don't be afraid! All comments are welcomed, read, and replied to.

-Tara