Scarred

Chapter 13

 "What should we do for dinner? What are you in the mood for?" He sits down on the couch, I do the same.

 "Well, I started a fire outside with all the ... let's call it .... spare wood, so we could do a barbeque if you like? And because there is already a fire and it's outside the house, we don't have to worry about me burning the place down." He winks at me.

 I laugh, "Ok Mr. fire starter sounds good to me." We walk into the kitchen to get food and skewers and head out into the garden, there is actually a stone barbeque built in so we don’t just have an open fire to cook over, phew! I put some pieces of chicken on a skewer and rope Alex into cutting up pieces of beef, after a few minutes the food is cooking away and Alex takes my hand and brings me over to a swing seat on the porch. We sit down and drink our beers, Alex puts his arm around me and I lean into him, he is so warm.

 "This feels right, right? I know I have fantasised about this moment but I never knew it would feel like this, I always believed you would hate me. I could have convinced you to come here to save your life sure, but I never thought that we would sit here on our swing bench waiting on the barbeque and drinking our beers. You are more than all my wildest dreams come true Lucy. Thank you for being here." I lean closer to him, I agree with him, this does feel right. But there is something else too, I feel like this is the calm before the storm. Maybe it's because I'm used to having good things taken away from me, but I feel like the next disaster is only around the corner. I'm also slightly worried that I'm taking things way too fast with Alex, yes he is my mate, and I want him, and I will mate with him one day, but I still think that we don't know enough about each other.

"I never imagined any of this could happen, I had always assumed I would never meet my mate, if I did I thought he would reject me. I am like the omega of the pack after all. This is all so new to me, and it's all happened so fast, don't get me wrong I don't regret anything we have done, I just don't want to rush things, I am enjoying getting to know you when we are not being attacked by your father or falling off a cliff". I look at him and wink, he tickles my side, I practically fall off the swing from laughing. "Ok. Ok. I submit. Let's check the food." I stand up before he can tickle me again, and walk down the steps to the barbeque and turn the food over, it smells so good, I'm starving now, it won’t take too much longer to cook though.

I walk back up to Alex, It's getting dark now, I can almost see the stars. I sit back down beside Alex but instead of getting back into the same position, I sit cross legged, facing him. "Can I ask you? About your scars I mean?" Maybe it's a bad idea to talk about all the painful stuff straight away, but once it's all out in the open, we can focus on the good things. We can get to know each other and think about fully mating.

"My scars are just like yours Lucy, I have been getting them almost as long as you. I was not scarred the first time you were, I was locked up the first time I heard you scream. My father knew you were my mate, but he had lost his mind by then. I was there at every other scarring though. I would not let you go through it alone. My father knew that I prepared your bath after the first scarring and every one since. So he scarred me too. He didn't use the same chemicals he used on you. I could shift after he was finished with us, and then I would run to your hut and fill the bath for you".

 Oh god, this is all my fault again, I hurt him before I even knew him. "Now I know you might be feeling guilty for that and I don't want you to. I wanted to be there, it was my fault that you were getting scarred. I wasn't strong enough to protect you from him. I deserved the punishment, not you, I'm the one who left the party. I told my father that I had broken the Rules and he had to punish me too. I thought at least if I was there he would not be able to kill you. I have him convinced that if you die, I will die too. And I'm inclined to believe it myself, I could feel you dying at the first scarring, I could feel myself fading too, I gave you all I had, all my energy, I tried to give you my life. I think it worked too, when I was dying after my father attacked me, I felt you do the same thing for me. Even though we are not fully mated we have a bond like no other, love. So yes, my scars are just like yours. You were not alone in that room Lucy." I put a finger up to silence him and I jump up and turn the food over again, and run up the steps and sit like I had been before.

  "It wasn't your fault Alex, there were so many rogues. Your father just wants someone to blame because he can't blame himself, it's not his fault either. It just happened. I can't believe you did that Alex. Why would you put yourself through that torture? I never knew. I never heard you scream. Why did you do it?"

 I'm so pissed off right now, he had no right to put himself through that for me, I wasn't even aware that anyone there was trying to help me. Of course I'm going to feel guilty. He thinks I deserve a better mate? Please, since he has known I was his mate; he lost brother, his father went crazy and he has been beaten monthly all over me! Oh yeah, don't feel guilty Lucy.

 "Lucy, you are my mate, mine to protect, what else could I do? Do you think I could just go have a beer with my friends while that was happening to you? I had to be there, yes he had me in chains so I couldn't shift until it was over but I could help you if I was there, every time, I pulled your pain into me, I would take it all if I could. I couldn't stop him Lucy, but I could make damn sure that you weren't alone." Oh, so maybe I didn't think about it like that. I'm still pissed off that he put himself through it, but I understand why he felt he had to do it.

  "I understand Alex, but next time you have a chance not to be in pain. Take it, ok?" I lean over and take his face in my hands. "Please remember, you are mine now, and I won't be happy if anything happens to you, especially if it’s avoidable, understood?" He nods and I stick my tongue at him and then run back down to the barbeque, I don't know what it is but whenever I act dominant over Alex I feel giddy and happy and silly all at once. The food is ready, I bring both skewers back up to the swing seat and give Alex the beef one and I start digging into the chicken one. I take a few pieces and then hand the skewer to Alex, He gives me the beef skewer and I take two pieces off, and wash it all down with the beer. Yep, I could get used to this.

"Are you going to finish the beef one?" I look down, there is not a scrap of chicken left on his skewer, I laugh and pass him the beef one. I'm pretty full and bless him, he still looks so hungry. I drink my beer and look up at the stars, and start swinging the seat too. What a day. If every day is like this I don't know how much more I can take, I'm exhausted again. I can feel my eyes getting heavy. I look back at Alex,

"Alex, is it ok if I go to bed, I don't think I can stay awake any longer." He finishes his food in one bite, downs his beer, stands up and asks for my hand. I put my hand in his and he helps me up, I yawn, a big, loud, mouth wide open, embarrassing type of  yawn and Alex decides to lift me up and carry me to bed, I'd protest if I weren't so tired, I can already feel myself falling asleep and we are not even at the staircase yet. When I feel him put me on the bed, I try to open my eyes to say goodnight, but he kisses my forehead and I can fight the sleep any longer.