127 lbs.

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Late the next morning, I awoke in a cold sweat and still wearing my cheering uniform. I refused to weigh myself because I didn't want to wallow in self-pity if there wasn't a change. The sun was shining brightly, and it was unseasonably warm—about fifty degrees—for a mid-February morning. I took two more pills and left for an intense bike ride, stopping to rest periodically until either dizziness or double vision subsided. I knew they were side effects, but I didn't let them stop me from exhausting all possible methods to melt away the remaining few inches.

After my strenuous workout, I trudged to my room and crawled into bed. I slept the afternoon away, and when my alarm blared, I dashed for the bathroom. It was ninety minutes before Todd was picking me up, and I had to shower, shave my legs, and do my hair and makeup. After that, it would be over one way or the other. Either I'd fit in the dress or I wouldn't.

Dripping wet, I stepped out of the shower and took a long look at my naked body in the bathroom mirror. Nothing was different. I had the same shape, whatever it was—not chubby, but not Janelle skinny; some curves, but not curvy. Just average.

But I was astounded when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had lost another six pounds. Were they the right six pounds? And had I lost the necessary inches from my hips and waist to squeeze into the dress?

I dried myself off, threw on my bathrobe, and bounded for my bedroom. The dress that had mocked me in the shopping mall was still hanging in clear view in my closet, but this time, I got the last laugh. It fit perfectly! Dancing around the room, I tossed the practically empty bottle of pills into the trash like it was a basketball.

At six-forty-five sharp, the doorbell rang. From downstairs, Kylie called, "Carrie, there's a really tall boy here for you!"

Wait till he sees me, I thought, giggling as I blew my freshly red-painted fingernails dry.

I kept Todd waiting a little bit before I made my grand entrance. As I walked slowly down the stairs, I clearly saw him mouth an enormous Wow. I wasn't sure which parts of my body he was specifically eyeing, but I didn't care because I knew they all looked good that night.

"You look amazing," he said, handing me a bouquet of pink flowers. Then he kissed me on the forehead and raised his head slightly to rest his chin on me. "Hey, have you gotten taller?"

"It's the heels." I grinned as I showed them off. Three extra inches and matching my dress.

After showering us with compliments and taking photos, my mother reminded Todd about my eleven-o'clock curfew. Then Frank cajoled her into extending it an additional hour. All the men in my life were making me feel special that night.

The Valentine's Sweetheart Dance was a school tradition, held in the cafeteria because Coach McCarthy didn't want girls dancing in high-heeled shoes ruining the gymnasium floor. Obviously, he didn't go to many dances or he'd know that most girls took off their shoes to keep their feet from hurting.

Todd and I entered arm in arm, and my eyes opened wide as I saw how the senior class council had decorated the cafeteria. All the tables had been removed, and the space was adorned with streamers of red, pink, and white. Dozens of glittery cupid-shaped cutouts hung from the ceiling and twirled slowly about their strings so their arrows of love could point at almost any couple on the dance floor. A mirror ball illuminated by a red-filtered light rotated above the center of the room, and it reflected what looked like thousands of little red hearts all over the place.

"You two look so cute together!" Trish rushed over to us and snapped a picture with her phone. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me aside to say, "Janelle's gonna freak when she sees how hot you look. You could be on the cover of magazines! Too bad Lauren's not here to see this."

I wouldn't let Todd leave my side because he needed to be with me when Janelle arrived. We were dancing to the loud beat of one of the newest pop songs when she finally entered. She was also wearing red—part of her scheme, perhaps—but her tight strapless dress didn't show off as much cleavage and leg as my dress did. I know I saw her jaw drop when she saw me, but then she quickly held her nose in the air and strutted away, probably trying to save face. At that moment, there was a brief pause between songs, and I could hear her release an audible humph. Her plan had backfired!

Other members of the cheering squad swarmed around me and told me how great I looked. Friends of Todd's came by every now and then; some not-so-subtly checked me out, and one was caught by his girlfriend, who elbowed him in the side and stomped away. I was the one turning heads that night—not Janelle—and I couldn't help myself from gloating in her direction every now and then. Whether it was because of the dress or my association with Todd, I was more popular that night than I ever had been or expected to be.

After a few hours, I was kind of sweaty and tired, clearly from dancing so much—fast dancing with Trish and other girls, and slow dancing in Todd's warm and strong embrace. I wondered if my fatigue was partially caused by the pills, but I didn't care because I had had a great time. Todd suggested we could relax at Cray's Lookout, a landing atop a hill overlooking Montvale. The fact that it was a common make-out spot didn't bother me because if Todd wanted to take me there to make out, my victory over Janelle was solidified.

I had taken my shoes off earlier in the night, but when I retrieved them, I was confused by how easily my swollen feet slid into them. I double-checked that they were indeed my shoes but then shrugged off the minor nuisance. The night had been too wonderful to stress about slightly stretched-out shoes.

At Cray's Lookout, Todd and I quickly fogged up the windows of his car, and we were only sitting in the back seat and kissing. I loved the way his lips softly but firmly pressed perfectly against mine. And when he kissed my neck, I loved the way his lips caressed my skin and sent tingles down my spine.

I shivered as his fingers traced the contours of my collar bones and down alongside the straps of my dress to my breasts. Though the thin, red fabric separated his skin from mine, every nerve inside me tingled like I had never felt before—because I hadn't ever let a guy touch me like that before. His hands seemed the exact size to envelop my breasts, as if our bodies had been made to each other's specifications. Janelle's would be too big for him, I selfishly thought, but mine were just right.

"You look kinda warm." His eyes sparkled in the moonlight. "I can fix that."

My dress felt a little looser, but I didn't notice him reaching around to unzip it. His hands stayed in front of me as he tried to slide the halter strap over my head. Interlocking my fingers with his to stop him, I said, "Not now, Todd. Not here."

"But it feels good, doesn't it?" he whispered into my ear and then lightly kissed my cheek.

Closing my eyes and smiling, I released a sigh. It undeniably felt great, and I imagined what it would feel like to go further, but I wanted whatever came next to be something special and memorable. The back seat of Todd's car wasn't the right place.

"It does, but it's getting kinda late." After slowly pushing him away from me, I noticed that he looked disappointed, so I put my hand on his shoulder and massaged it. "Hey, it's not like we can do much back here. You're way too tall." I playfully walked my fingers from his chest up past his chin and stopped by gently poking his nose. "Now if you were a little shorter."

"A little shorter?" He chuckled. "You know you're talkin' crazy there, right?"

A quick peck on the lips showed me that he understood, so we returned to the front seat, and he drove me home. I think we went further than he had expected, and I know I felt more than I had expected. He had shown me that I was desirable, and that night, that was what I wanted to feel.

I was a desirable weight, a desirable body shape, and a desirable height.

Or at least I thought I was.

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