What a night (Sean Mcloughlin x reader)

2 (What a beauty)

Three weeks have passed and things have gotten worse. I stopped going to the bar and it seems that even that isn't helping anything. He's still as angry and disappointed in me. I can't seem to do anything good in his eyes. I even got a job finally. I work at the petrol station.

Today he's upset because I stayed at work too long and should have been home cleaning or making dinner. His job is harder and I should be thinking about him at all times.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in a fly trap and the spider is Oisíon. But he's all I have. But he's not wrong. I have a drinking problem. And I'm not the same as when we met. I'm ruining our relationship.

But I'm also not stupid and I'm starting to understand what 'abusive' means. He's leaving bruises from holding my arm too tightly or rough sex. He only hit me once but I talked back. It's not right what he's doing but it's not right that I make him do it.

Today was bad though. He hit me again. Hard. I think he bruised my cheek near my eye because it's throbbing. My left eye squints a bit from the pain and my eye is watering.

"Why did you make me do that? You know I don't like hurting you." He says, handing me my makeup case.

I grab it and begin using it in the bathroom. We live in a duplex but the upstairs is blocked off. So it's a small flat-like place.

He leaves the room and returns with my bag packed full. "I think we should break up."

I freeze in my tracks. What? I turn to him, my lip quivering. "What?" I repeat out loud.

"You aren't who I met all those months ago. You've made me hurt you and I'd never do that. I just think we'd be better off without eachother."

He starts for the bedroom and I follow him. He starts packing my clothes into a trash bag and then my other stuff. "Whats going on, Oisíon? Where am I going to go?" I cry out.

"Just go, y/n, we're done." He shoves the bag into my hands and shoves me out the door and into the cold rainy night.

After walking a few blocks I decide to call him. It takes three rings but he answers. "Hello?"

I realized I hadn't called him in almost a month and wondered if he'd even remember me. I'm terrible for not calling him. But that would have been wrong to Oisíon. I almost hang up but him speaking again makes me sob.

"S-Sean?" I manage, shivering from the cold and the piercing rain.

A moment of silence before I hear, "y/n?"

I hang up, continuing my walk and ignoring every call. When I reach his house, I knock hesitantly.

He opens the door, staring at me in disbelief. "Oh my God, y/n, what happened? Come in." He rushes me inside and goes to grab some towels.

As I dry off and get handed some hot chocolate, I don't know where to start. But seems like Sean knows what to start with.

"What the hell happened to your eye?"

I just look down. "It was my fault. I didn't make dinner. I stayed too long at work. I made him mad and he hit me." I ramble on as Sean listens. "I mean, he's hit me before but not like this. Usually it's a slap or a rough sex night."

"Who, y/n?" He presses on, handing me a blanket to cover up with.

I wrap it around my body and continue. "Oisíon. My boy- ex-boyfriend. He broke up with me tonight. It's all my fault."

"I am only going to say this once, y/n, nothing about that situation is your fault. Do you hear yourself? He got mad at you because you worked too much. He could have talked about it, not put his hands on you."

"I know it's not right what he did. But I did make him angry."

He rolls his eyes. "I've been angry so many times in my life but I have never hit a woman. That's an excuse to hurt you, and I wish you could see that." He says. "Besides, a woman should be worshipped for her loving, gentle and kind nature. I would never ever lay a hand on you."

"I drank a lot. He said I wasn't who he met when we first dated. I do drink a lot, Sean."

"Okay, but when do you drink? Or more importantly, why?" He asks.

I pause and think back. It seems that everytime I drink, I did it, "To forget."

"Forget what?"

"The abuse. The pain." I tear up. "Everything. Oisíon." I cry.

Sean gathers me in his arms as I sob uncontrollably at the realization. Oisíon hates me.

"Why don't you get a good night's rest and we'll go sight-seeing tomorrow?" He says, reassuringly.

I smile and wipe away my tears finally before nodding. "Thank you Sean. For letting me stay tonight."

I head to the guest room and change in the bathroom, brushing my teeth as well. Before I head to bed, he pokes his head in one last time. "Oh and, y/n?"

"Yeah?" I reply.

"I'm glad that I make you feel safe enough to come here."

I smile and say goodnight, drifting off into the strangest dream about school and my old friends.

---

"Now that's beautiful." Although the strong winds are whipping my hair around my face, the sight in front of me is full of life and peace.

With Sean beside me, he seems to not have a care in the world either. I take this time to look at his features a bit more. He has short, brunette, hair. And as he stares ahead with the most piercing blue eyes I've ever seen, I can't help but wonder what he meant last night.

He asked why I drank and I said Oisíon. If that's the true reason, then none of this is my fault. I met Oisíon at the pub when I first got back in town. He only drank a couple of beers while I poured the liquor down my throat, practically.

We went back to his flat we were at now and I have no recollection of what happened the rest of the night. The next day, he said we had had sex and I was too stunned to say anything.

I never would have had sex with a guy I met the same night. It's always been in the back of my mind but I was too afraid to think it through.

I think he took advantage of me. But not only that, I feel like it's my fault for drinking and going home with him. I was so worried when I was at Sean's house but he kindly let me stay in a separate room. Nothing happened.

Everything starts clicking and I feel myself boil with rage. This motherfucker fucked with me for 4 months. He used me, abused me and gaslit me into thinking it was all my fault!

"Ugh!" I scream out into the sky, frustrated and full of hate.

Sean looks over at me in pure confusion. "What's wrong, y/n?"

I stare forward, imagining all the things I'm going to do to him in detail. I can't help but smirk at the feeling. Power. "I'm going to kill my fucking ex."