The Side Adventures of Baal and Squirrl (An Inside Job AU)

Court Case of Insanity (Part 3 Finale)

And just like that, intermission had ended, and everyone went back to their seats. Baal nervously took one last sip of water as they sat down. They had never been more nervous about the outcome of this. That's when they looked over at Brett, who was quickly typing on his phone. "What are you doing?" Baal asked. "Oh- just texting Someone for advice I think I could use right now... Seems relevant." Brett replied, hitting send on his phone and then shoving it back in his pocket. Judge Judy banged her mallet on the desk, gaining everyone's attention. "Alright everyone. Welcome back. We are now going to continue by hearing the clients sides of the stories. Mr. Clean can go first."

He stood up with a smug smile on his face. Only making Baal roll their eyes as he got up to stand in front of everyone. "Your Honor... What you're about to hear is going to be a true tale of horror and disbelief! So shocking that even some of this room may just pass out from hearing it!" The room gasped, this including Brett, which could only make Baal let out a groan of frustration. "So... it all started on a dark and stormy night... Aka, last Sunday. I was minding my own business, in my office... WHEN BAM!" He spun on his heel and clapped his hands, making half the room jump. "I had realized... I had lost the other half of my cherry custard donut from breakfast..." he trailed off.

"Oh that poor soul!" Brett teared up, making both Baal and Regan, who was sitting behind them, facepalm in unison. Clean then continued. "Oh Your Honor it was TERRIBLE! So I went to go and look for it in another part of the building, but that's also when I realized, the power went out. So I used my phone light to guide my way over to the staff kitchen and possibly go outside to check the fuse box." He continued to pace around the front of the room as he told his story, the court room still hooked on his adventure. "So I put on my coat, went outside to the fusebox... AND BAM!" He jump scared the room again with another loud clap of his hands. "I found an open and crushed fusebox on the wall... AND A DEAD BODY BELOW IT!"

The courtroom gasped as Baal recalled that night to themselves. It's where they found the guy, and he was tough, so they merely beat him and and possibly electrocuted them via now crushed fusebox, and left the body there because they thought the buildings were abandoned. They didn't really like killing people, but at that point, they didn't have a choice at the time. "So I quickly examined the body... and then remembered the solar powered security cameras! So I went to check them... AND BAM!" Clean clapped yet again, making the room jump. Again. For the Third Time.

"I SAW SOMEONE THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE THEM, ENDING THAT POOR MANS LIFE JUST LIKE THAT!" Mr. Clean pointed to Baal and everyone gasped, making them sink in their seat slightly. "And just like that... here we are. Thank you." He took a bow in front of everyone and walked back to his chair as the courtroom clapped. Judge Judy banged her mallet again. "Alright... Baal Witherlane... You're Up."

Baal stood up and nervously walked in front of the room, all eyes on them. "Your Honor... Let me tell you what really happened to Me last Sunday night... So I had stayed late at the office that night. I was finishing up some paperwork on... uh... Water Deprivation while I waited for my partner, Squirrl Blackstone, to finish with their own office work. I'm their ride back to our apartment. We didn't get out until 3:00 in the morning, and we were the only ones in the building that night. Annnnd... that's it." Baal took a sharp inhale and walked back to their seat, and only a couple people from the courtroom clapped.

The Jury soon started talking amongst themselves about the case in hushed whispers. "Don't worry Baal! We got this in the bag! What could go wrong?" Brett grinned. Just then, Judge Judy banged her mallet once again regaining attention. "The Jury has decided! The guilty party of this whole case, is none other than..." There was a pause, half the courtroom on the edge of their seat. Some quiet literally more than others.

"Baal Witherlane has been found Guilty. Boys, you know what to do." Baal gasped as Judy raised her mallet, until the courtroom door burst open. "I OBJECT!" Yelled a familiar voice. Everyone suddenly looked over to see a person carrying a folder in one hand as they walked down the long isle towards the front, a serious look on their face. "Squirrl...?" Baal asked themselves as they dropped the folder on the table, opening it and pulling out a single sheet of paper and a ziplock bag with something inside.

"Your Honor... in this bag, you'll find a key piece of evidence that proves that Baal was indeed in their office that night, and that Mr. Clean is indeed crazy as well as clearly and oddly enough named after a popular cleaning brand." They handed the ziplock and the sheet of paper up to Judy, keeping their serious face. "Hm... This evidence seems to be very clear... Alright then. Detective Veritably Clean... Is found guilty and shall be jailed for 15 Years. Meeting Adjourned. Boys, do your thing."

Judge Judy banged her mallet and two police men came over, grabbing Mr. Clean by the shoulders and taking him away. "WHAT?! BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BODY? WHAT ABOUT MY MISSING DONUT? AND MY NAME IS A FAMILY NAME! DON'T QUESTION IT! WAIIIIIT!" As he left, the courtroom soon started emptying, and the gang from Cognito stepped out into the parking lot, an awkward and confused silence surrounding them until Baal broke it. "Squirrl... How did you-?" Before they could finish, Squirrl turned back and held up their phone, showing a string of text messages from Brett spread across the day.

11:09 am: Heya Squirrl it's Brett from work! I need to ask- So I'm gonna be a sorta lawyer for one of our coworkers and I was wondering if you had any advice? Thanks! :D

12:48 pm: I did and didn't tell a half lie and I'm feeling very bad about it and I don't think I should have said what I did but I panicked because I didn't want the case to end without all the proper facts and oh god what do I do?!

1:56 pm: So... How would you feel if I said Baal went to jail because it half way fell through among other things? Just... Curious. You wouldn't try destroying me right?

"Oh... Great..." Baal sighed. "You are very lucky I had an hour long break today." Squirrl said, shoving their phone back in their pocket. That's when Brett came up behind them curiously. "Wait... question. What did you show and/or give Judy to change her mind?" Squirrl grinned. "Easy."

They pulled the evidence folder out from under their arm and opened it, pulling out the ziplock from earlier, revealing it to be a Uno Reverse playing card inside. "Wait... So you won... WITH AN UNO REVERSE CARD?" Reagan had a confused yet slightly horrified expression on her face as Squirrl explained. "It's not just any Uno Reverse... It's a Uno Reverse Card that, when you place it in front of someone, it can instantly have them change their mind about what's happening. Like just now as an example."

Regan's eyes widened. She'd never seen a card like that before. "Where did you even get a card like that? It's like a top tier card you could use to win any argument!" Andre asked. "Around, I've had it for awhile- I don't remember." Baal noticed the cue and quickly changed the topic. "And... wait- what about the single paper you brought?"

Squirrl chuckled as they pulled out the paper and handed it to Baal and the others. On the paper in big bold marker letters was: "Baal is innocent". "Straight and to the point. I like it!" Glenn said. "Welp. That's done. Anyway who wants to get food?" Myc asked suddenly. Everyone started agreeing as they walked to the company van, leaving Baal and Squirrl yet for a moment.

"...Hey. Thanks for saving me back there. As much as I trust Brett with some stuff, I think I prefer you as a Lawyer. And not even because you have your Reverse Decision Card." Baal smiled. "Not a problem. But next time, try not to get caught, OR need to go to court when I'm working at the time with the "You-Know-Who's." Baal laughed and nodded. "I'll do what I can, but no guarantees!"
"Would you guys hurry up?! If you don't we'll eat your share of Taco Bell without ya!" Myc yelled from the shared van. "Yeah! Cmon. Let's hurry before you have to leave again." They both smiled as Baal grabbed Squirrl's hand, pulling them towards the van.