Missing piece

luna shepherd

We got into an argument last week. Like a big one. You are still in the Hospital because of it. It makes me sick to know you aren't talking to me but found someone else.

I understand why you are annoyed at me. But no matter what happens i'll always be here.

Jackson loves you, no matter what you think he does.

It also makes me realise how much I need to speak to you in am every day. Because you're my best friend.

You are about to take your board exams well you might be taking them right now as I'm not sure ok your timetable. But good luck Lu, you've got this. Your gonna be a Kickass Fetal surgeon. I mean if you are gonna be a fetal surgeon the number of lives you are gonna change is gonna be huge.

Jackson was very nervous before he left, with the whole Avery name to live up to but i know he can. I've seen it in his eyes since i met him. He's got every ounce of fight in him to be a surgeon. And I hope he knows that. I feel like i've sent my child off to school when he left. It's one of my proudest moments.

I hope you and Jackson figure out what's going on with you. You've given everyone the silent treatment. It feels awful not talking to you. It's like a part of me is gone. Like it was ripped from me. Sofia keeps asking where Auntie Lu is.

I remember when we had a massive fight after you got into the ambulance accident. I couldn't sleep for weeks. It was Karev that told me to grow up. Karev. But that's when it hit me, Luna. You make everyone a better person because of how honest and genuine you are. I never knew how someone who grew up in such a bad environment would be such a good human. Until now, you are better because of that. You take all that hurt and make it into something better because that's what you wanted.

So if there's ever a time I'm not here. Please do that. Don't push anyone away. Just be you. Feel all your emotions. Take a vacation and just a vacation. Check on Derek and Callie. They'll need you just like you'll need them.

Well congratulations on your boards, even though I don't know if you've passed but you definitely will.

You passed. It's been busy since you got back though. You are moving to Hopkins.

But there's one more adventure for Me, You and Derek there's a surgery in Boise we are going to. It's for conjoined twins and I know you are looking forward to seeing those faces when they can finally look at their twin.

Lexie told me she loved me last night. I love her too. But Im with Julia and I want to make sure I'm making the right choice.

I want Lexie, she's my soulmate. I love the way her face lights up in the middle of the room when talking to a patient or the way she remembers things from years ago.

It makes me happy to know that finally, we might get our happy endings. It makes me wish I could speak like this to you all the time. Like we could be trapped in this one moment before life gets in the way again.

Do you ever wonder if maybe you didn't transfer to Grey Sloan what would happen? Or if I stayed and worked things out with you?

Like would we be in New York right now or would we have come to Seattle because that's where we are meant to be?

It's been a few weeks now. Since the crash. You are at Hopkins being a badass surgeon. You haven't answered any of my calls. You are doing what's best for you.

I feel empty without Lexie. She died. Right in front of me. Then you. You nearly died. So did i.

I want to go back to the moment when I last wrote a letter. I was full of hope and joy and if anyone else read this it would be embarrassing.

I think I'm going through the surge. I'm feeling better but there's this pit in my stomach. And the person who tells me it's gonna be okay isn't here. Neither of you.

In the bit before this I wrote that are we meant to be in Seattle and honestly, I think I'm meant to be anywhere where you are. You are my soulmate. Same as Callie. I think you can have multiple. But you can only have one great love. That's what Meredith said anyway. I believe her. I couldn't imagine marrying anyone but Lexie.

Jackson comes in and tells me about all the cases he's doing and everything that i've taught him. He's gonna make the best head of plastics when i'm gone. Can you tell him it was one of the most amazing fulfilling parts of my career mentoring him. I wouldn't change anything.

I don't regret anything that happened to us now because it brought us back here. To our home. Where I had a daughter and where you became a godmother.

Callie is back now and she's confused about why Im writing in a notepad.

97, Oakwood Street, Seattle Washington.

This is the address I put an offer down on for me and Lexie. I started moving things in the day we got on the plane so excuse the mess. The keys are in a lock box. Code is your birthday. But if I end up dying, I want you to live there. Raise a family if you want. I wanted it for mine and Lexies and because that can't happen I want the other half of me to have it.

At the house, there's a draw for Sofia. It has a video of me for her eightieth. Please give it to her.

Don't mope around for too long you've got lives to save.

I love Nova. I always loved that name.

You need to embrace your past to move on.

Please don't push anyone away.

I love you nonetheless Luna~Nova Shepherd.

notes -

just thought id add a note to say so sorry about the delay in chapter updates I'm having a bit of writer's block.

so thought id writes the letter that mark wrote to luna all the years.