Draco's Hufflepuff | Emerging

Thirteen: Ashamed

**

As everyone made their way to the Quidditch Stands, I walked to the Prefects common room to finally see my Slytherin boy. I felt that nervous knot start to form in the pit of my stomach. It was as though it was the first time meeting him all over again.

The whole walk there, it felt like I was walking on a cloud. I couldn't get one part of Draco's letter out of my head though.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see."

It hurt my heart to think of Draco sitting there, believing that I didn't want to be with him, because that's the furthest thing from the truth. He's the only person I ever wanted to be with, at all times.

There he was, foot on the wall, looking so effortlessly cool. It took me back to every single morning he would wait for me in the spot between our common rooms.

He was wearing a plain black turtleneck sweater, a black blazer, and black suit trousers. His hair was parted on the left side of his head and impeccably styled, not a single strand of hair was out of place.

I felt like an idiot in my yellow floral sundress, with sheer brown tights and brown chunky cardigan. I wasn't sure why, but I also felt really juvenile around him. Like he was so grown-up and mature, and I was just pathetic and useless.

With each step and fiddling with the cuff of my cardigan, I kept thinking about how I would greet Draco.

A simple wave?

Jumping into his arms?

Just saying hello?

It wasn't like we'd had an argument and I certainly didn't feel that constricted feeling in my throat and chest when we have gotten into a disagreement or dispute. I didn't exactly know the etiquette of seeing your sort-of-not-really boyfriend for the first time after getting caught having sex.

As soon as Draco noticed me, he pushed his foot off the wall and threw his arms around me. I was finally back in my safe space. I slotted into his arms so perfectly.

He muttered the password so we could enter into the Prefects common room. It was eerily silent in there, not even the young witches and wizards in the portraits were moving.

"I am so sorry, Madeline, I feel fucking awful," Draco said, sitting us down on the sofa. He nestled me into the nook of his arms, wrapped tightly around my shoulder,

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not okay, Madeline. Stop trying to make me feel better. I handled things really badly, and I was a fucking cunt to you. I just need you to know how sorry I am," Draco interjected, his tone a mixture of being cold and shameful.

Instead of saying anything, I decided to move out of his arms and straddle myself on his lap. I connected our lips, letting my tongue slip into his mouth. My arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands were placed on the small of my back. I thought I'd let my actions say what I was thinking.

"You should hate me," Draco pulled away, our foreheads touching, "I just fucking left you there,"

"I could never hate you, Draco. I know we never meant for that to happen, we got carried away in the moment," I reassured him, pecking soft kisses along his jawline,

"I hate me, I just have to sit there and listen to everyone talking about you and it makes me fucking mad. I keep getting these images of your face as I walked away," Draco shook his head, his tone full of vulnerability,

"I have to listen to my friends talking badly about me, the anonymous girl in the library, I just try to ignore it," I shrugged my shoulders,

"I can't even tell them to shut up because you're not like that but then they'd know it was you. Then I hate myself even more for not saying it was you, because then it makes me feel like I'm ashamed of you. I'm not, but we can't be together, and I don't know-" Draco cut his sentence short, taking a deep breath,