A Touch Like Fire - Sequel to Tears of Blood

stay the night

ANDREA'S POV CONTINUED

"The rough weather and lack of food probably gave him a fever, I'm guessing." Nilofar says as she finishes tucking in Ezra into the bed after giving him new clothes. 

"I should have checked in on him." I say with a sigh as I collapse into a chair. Nilofar sits next to me as we both take a minute to stare at Ezra snoozing away. She almost scared me when she said he was barely breathing. 

"So that's all? What are you going to tell everyone?" She breaks the silence to ask me. While getting situated in her humble abode, I gave her a run down on my mission in Orien. I told her everything, from my time in Arden to the experiences with Devyn. 

"I don't know. I'm going to have to come up with something since I have returned without the ring." I put my head into my hands and Nilofar rubs my back.

"Now, now, child. Everything will be okay. You have asked me to look after Ezra, and I will do so to the best of my ability." 

"As you did with me?" 

"As I did with you." She replies with a soft smile. 

"Well, I better get going. I have a lot to debrief with uncle." I get up but I suddenly feel dizzy and I sit back down.

"What is it?" Nilofar asks with a hint of concern in her voice.

"Nothing. Just these headaches I have been having." Rubbing my head I get back up.

"Stay the night. Leave in the morning. I haven't seen you in years, my child. And your leg has not quite healed." 

"I have to go." I make my way to the door, grabbing my belongings. All of a sudden Ezra starts to cry and I run over to him.

"Oh come here, it's okay. I'm right here." I tell him as I scoop him up into my arms. 

"You're staying." Nilofar says as she puts back the backpack I picked up. 

"I guess I am, but only for the night." 

After Ezra goes back to sleep, Nilofar and I eat together and I tell her about Devyn. 

"She sounds very intense." She comments as I help her with the dishes in the kitchen. 

"She is, but in a good way. It's the kind of intense that makes you feel invincible when you're with her, kinda like you just want to drown in her? You know?" 

Nilofar stops and turns around to face me.

"Andrea, are you in love with her?" 

Goosebumps form on my arms and shiver goes up my spine. I haven't heard someone ask me this out loud, not someone like Nilofar. 

"I was just doing my job." I reply while biting my tongue. 

"I have spent so much time with you. I watched you grow up Andrea. I can tell by your furrowed eyebrows how you're feeling. And right now I can tell you, you're in love with her. You're in love with Devyn Ackerman." 

As she says that, I turn away, hiding my face from her since tears start to form in my eyes. 

"I messed it all up." I say as a sob hurls out of my mouth. Crumbling to the floor I start to cry, not being able to stop the tears from flowing out like a river. Holding my legs close to my chest, I cry letting out all of the emotions pent up from the last few days. Nilofar walks over and sits next to me, putting an arm around me for comfort. 

"I did this to her. She hates me now. I betrayed her trust." I manage to croak out as I lean into her.

"You were just doing your job. She was just unfortunately there and you can't change that. You put your cause above all."

"But loving her hurts so much." I sob.

"It hurts, because it was real."

"I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I was someone else and she was someone else and we met in a different place, a different time. I didn't deserve her and she didn't deserve the hell I put her through. " 

"A different place and time will come, with you in your rightful place."

I stop crying as she says that and pull away from her.

"I don't want to talk about that right now." I tell her as I get up.

"Why not? You're finally back in Sidus, and I think it's time for you to take your rightful place as Queen. Your uncle and your cousins should not be our leaders or be living in the Rahl palace. That's all yours before they took over."

"I don't even want to be a leader. It's not in me."

"So you're just going to let them take your place?"

"It doesn't matter to me, at the end of the day they're still my family. They want the best for me and our country. Plus, I'm serving Sidus in other ways. I don't have to sit cooped up in some palace to get things done. I don't let others do my dirty work, I get myself out there and actually enact change." 

"Like how they sent you to carry out this mission? I know my opinion doesn't matter but I think you need to be less trusting of your uncles and cousins. They could have picked anyone else to go to Orien, but they gave you this mission. Going to Orien was a suicide mission, that's like going into the mouth of a lion, willingly. And they did all this knowing you could get caught, and knowing how valuable you are to the Rahl line." Nilofar starts to sound more frustrated.

"Because of this?" I say as I hold out my hand to reveal the ring.

"It chose you to be a bearer, don't take that lightly."

"I don't, but I also think Uncle will be happy to hear of the few successes in Orien. I have to go and update him on the situation It's my job, I took an oath to protect this country."

Nilofar sighs in defeat and says, " I understand. Just watch your back, child. I'm just concerned fro you."

"You have always been a big help to me and I want to thank you. Tomorrow I'm going to head over to the capital. I'm leaving behind Ezra in your care, because I know he won't be safer anywhere else. No one can know who he really is okay? This stays between you and me, if anyone asks tell them he's my son or yours."

"Don't worry, I got it. Go get some sleep." She ushers me over to the bed in the corner and I crawl in. She moves my hair away from my face and plants a small kiss on my forehead.

"It's good to have you back my Andrea." She smiles at me and I give her one back. She disappears into her room. 

The thought about meeting my family in the capital tomorrow kept me awake until my eyes got to heavy keep open.

I was going to meet my family, I was finally home.