Emotionless

Chapter 1

Serial Killers and modern humans all had one thing in common. Wanting to feel something. The thrill of the kill. The high before the low. Taking one's life, made them feel most alive. Covered in the blood of their victims and franticly trying to cover up the murder scene, that was the main part of a serial Killers existence. Though sometimes they would slip up and leave behind a vital piece of evidence. Whether that was the murder weapon or traces of DNA on their victims' bodies. No serial Killer has ever been perfect, at the end of the day, they are just as human as we are, and we are just as murderous as they are, aren't we?

It was a cold winter morning when a girl with dark blue eyes awoke. She yawned and stretched her limbs, until she felt every bone crack in her body. Rubbing her eyes and ruffling her hair she stood up from her bed and walked over to the golden framed mirror. Her eyes meeting her own reflection in it. Isn't it weird? She thought. How your reflection can look so different from what you feel like inside. Her hair framed her face in the most perfect curls someone could probably have. Her eyes were as deep as the ocean and her skin nicely tanned, as if she was surrounded by the sunlight at all times. Her beauty was a curse though. No one is perfect... therefore her looks might be flawless, but her insides were a mess. Her mind was a place no one ever wanted to visit. Her heart so cold, that no one could ever love it. She hated what she saw in the mirror. Perfection, where there was no perfection at all. Loving eyes, that didn't carry any love at all. She knew all about emotions, but didn't understand emotions at all. She lifted her arm and traced her skin with her fingertips, when she looked at her fingers, she saw blood on them and licked it of her fingers. Tasting the blood of her enemies always gave her a feeling of achievement. She had rid this world off another emotionless creature. She was the one that should be feared the most. I am her and this is my story!

I didn't remember a day where I hadn't felt like this. Empty. Lonely, even though I wasn't alone. At birth we were all assigned to a life partner. Someone we should spent the rest of our lives with, someone we would never fall in love with. Emotions were band from the world I lived in. There was no happiness, no sadness, no love, and no pain. No one had ever cried tears, no one had ever smiled. I don't remember my parents ever loving me or my friends ever laughing with me. If I could even call them my friends. No one even knew what friends were anymore. I had however stumbled upon the term in a book. It was a book I had to keep a secret from the world.

On my 14th birthday I had wandered around the forest and come upon a small village just on the outskirts of it. It had been cold, almost as cold as it was today and I had found myself entering the only bookstore in that village. The wise man behind the counter had only taken one look at me, before he smiled. That was the first time I had ever seen the corners of lips lift on someone's face. It had looked strange at first, but his smile had left me feeling warm and welcome in his little bookstore.

"Come take a seat." He had said and pointed towards a dark green velvet couch in the corner of the room. I had nodded and taken a seat. Ten minutes later the older man approached me with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand and a book. It was the book that caught my attention first. Wrapped in black leather and locked. He sat down next to me and let the book drop into my lap.

"What do you want me to do with this?" I had asked, unsure of why he would give me such a precious looking book.

"Open it." He said and looked at me, as if he was awaiting a miracle.

"I don't have the key." I remember myself whispering, whilst unconsciously tucking at the necklace I had carried around my neck ever since I can remember. The lock of the book was heart shaped and so was the pendant around my neck. I took off the necklace and looked at the red ruby that had been framed with gold, before I slowly watched it as it perfectly fit into the lock of the book. I remember gently pressing it down and the book opening with a quiet *click*.

What I saw next had shaped me in many ways I sometimes wish it wouldn't have. First it seemed like the book was nothing special. Just word after word. They didn't even make sense to me, but then the wise man looked at me and told me to hold the ruby necklace over each word, almost as if the ruby was a magnifying glass. Instead of the words getting larger, more words appeared. Definitions of each word.

The first word on that list, was:

"Friend: a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations."

Followed by many more words I had never heard of.

"What is this?" Now curious I had looked at the older man, who watched me with a bright smile.

"This is the book of hidden emotions and all the things affected by emotions, my dear and you are the one, that can bring these emotions back. You were chosen to do so, but it will also bring darkness into your life and death."

The memory faded, as I heard a voice calling my name. 

"Amalia." The door to my room opened and I could see my sisters face peaking around the corner. 

"What do you want, Grace? I've told you not to come in here." My heart was beating faster, as I knew exactly what I had done just mere hours ago. For my sister, I seemed to be an open book. It was almost as if she could read my mind. She always knew exactly what was going on inside of my head, she was also the only person that had noticed a change in me. A change I couldn't really put into words. Ever since I had opened that goddamned book, I felt different. It almost seemed as if the book had started to bring back memories, that had been a part of my soul for eternity, but had been shut down by modern day society. 

The world I lived in was different from what it would have been like a hundred years ago. Humanity had reached a point where they had decided to bring all countries together. World peace they had called it and had promised everyone a better future. I remember my grandfather telling me about this once. He had told me that they had united the world, but in order to keep the world peace, they needed to sacrifice a few things. After years and years of endless wars and pandemics, the few people that had survived had agreed to these sacrifices. They had to give up their individuality and emotions, because both were the cause of most pain in the past. Emotions always led to war, therefore if there were no emotions, everyone could live in peace with each other. They had agreed that everyone would be assigned a life-partner upon birth. A person you would have to spent your whole life with and the one you were meant to have children with, however no one was ever allowed to fall in love. Life partners were meant to be only that, a distraction from trying to find human connection elsewhere. Love led to pain, and pain could cause people do to the most stupid things.