Northbound Pilgrimage II

Chapter CXXVIII - Secunda Waxing

"Yeah," she shivered, uncertain whether it was from the cold on her naked body or from the fear. She couldn't even keep the comfort of Bishop's ring around her neck this time. He had told her before that it must have been a miracle that the chain didn't snap the first night of her transformations. The ring would have been lost forever if it had.

"You're still not?" she scowled at him. How was he still so calm about all of this?

"No," Bishop chuckled. "You're gonna have to do more than turn into a werewolf to make me scared of you."

"You can't even shoot me this time," her frown never disappeared from her face. This felt even more dangerous than before. Bishop was still wounded. He couldn't use his bow – his contingency plan from last time. What would he do now if she got loose?

"Well... I can still stab you with that paralyzing arrow," he smirked. "Not like I'm gonna need it. I'm telling you, sweetness, the chains are good. They will hold again, just like they did for the two nights before."

He was right of course, but she still couldn't help but worry. How could she not? Bishop would be, once again, the only one here to get hurt in case of some unpredictable rampage on her part.

"How does it feel?" he asked after a moment of silence as he moved to fasten the chain around one of her arms.

"The... the transformation?" she couldn't help but cringe at the question. She didn't even know how to answer it. She didn't even understand why he would want to know something like that.

"Yeah. Does it hurt? Do you feel it when it's about to happen?"

"N-no... it doesn't hurt..." she shook her head with a sigh. He really looked curious and beyond just his usual concern for her. She should have been more happy that he was so... fine with all of this. That he wasn't panicking like she was every time this was about to happen. She just couldn't wrap her head around how he could be like that. "I... can tell... a little before. Only like a second. Just... feels like this... pressure. Something pushing me from the inside. And then I don't remember anything."

Bishop only nodded in acknowledgement. At least it didn't hurt her. He kind of suspected as much – she would have at least screamed if it did, but he still liked to make sure. And he was... curious. Who wouldn't be? He had never had the chance to actually see a werewolf for very long, let along talk to one.

He was done fastening the chains on her, though it was a bit more challenging with only one arm. He took a few steps back only to signal that he had finished and Aeyrin promptly clenched her fists and yanked the chains with all her might, trying to make sure that they would hold. She could never be entirely sure, of course, but trying still made her feel a tiny bit better. She spent a minute or two trying her hardest to break out of them, without actually letting her wrists slip from the ring cuffs, and then she finally sat back down onto the ground and wrapped the blanket around herself snugly. Now there was the excruciating waiting again.

"You really didn't remember anything at all? Not even a second?" Bishop continued to ask as he settled himself a safe distance away on their bedroll by the fire. He would have spent as much time with her, warming her up until the transformation came, but he knew that she wouldn't allow it any more than she had before. At least he pointedly retrieved one of his arrows from the quiver, just to ease her mind that he had it, and he placed it right next to himself.

"No," she shook her head vehemently at him. "I don't... I don't really wanna remember," she mumbled. They talked about this and Bishop had made a lot of good points about her making peace with the 'weapons in her arsenal'. Just like the Shouting – getting this thing under control could only be a good thing. But she still couldn't help but be wary. Vilkas's words of 'becoming one' with the werewolf still resonated in her and made her feel uneasy. And she was convinced that remembering herself as that monster was not going to make things any easier.