Kleptomaniac

0.8

sotc: Emarosa "I Still Feel Her Pt.5"
qotc:"maybe we got lost in the translation, maybe I asked too much, but maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up."
sqotc:"so full of fear, don't leave me here, I'm going crazy."
Nolliag
I have made the decision to let them help. Only because these same white walls are pushing me over the fucking edge and I can't take it anymore. So the next day they take me to the office in the cuffs.

I feel ashamed. I think they torture us into accepting help. They push me into a room with black and blue walls. I sigh and relief. No more white walls. I see her sitting with the doctor and I feel my patience for this hell hole fade away. Vanish if you want.

I don't want to see her. She treated me like another freak after she spent so long treating me like a normal human being. She made me feel special and took my heart then made me feel like a freak and crushed my heart.

I glare at her. She looks at me and sighs. "I just wanted to help. I wanted to help stop it before it got out of control and you ended up in worse than a jail cell." She says looking down. The doctor nods. "The first step in the treatment and to help is acceptance. You need to accept what's in the past and realize things. Accept yourself. Accept that you need help."

I groan "I don't need help though! I'm normal!" I plug my ears trying not to listen to them telling me what I need. Because apparently everyone but myself knows exactly what I need to do.

I'm getting really tired of it honestly. I'm not going to admit to something that isn't true. I'm tired of being called things that aren't true. I don't need help. People just think I do but I honestly don't. Just stop telling me what you think I need and tell me something useful for once.

Lately I've been getting a repeat of things for the past years and it's annoying. It's like everyone wants these horrible things engraved into my mind forever when all I want is to forget the shitty things I've been told over the years.

I don't need to know any of this useless bullshit. How is this even going to help? Like telling me to accept things that aren't true is going to help an awful lot. I hear her voice through my hands "I just want to help you! Let me help you!"

I take my hands off of my ears and sneer at her "I don't need help. And especially not yours. Your the one who got me stuck in this hell hole and you think you are helping? All I see is white cushioned walls every bloody fucking day and that alone is driving me insane to the point where now I might need help."

She looks hurt. But I don't care. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry I care too much about you to see you end up in a prison for something that can be fixed with medication. I'm sorry that you can't accept the fact that you need help. I'm sorry that I can see that anytime we go to stores you feel the urge to steal and your hands twitch. I'm sorry I noticed this and you didn't. I'm sorry I saw and wanted the best for you because I fucking love you. I'm sorry I love you...I guess I should just go because I can see the feeling obviously isn't mutual."

And she walks away. I try to tell myself I don't care. But I'm lying to myself once again and I feel the oncoming wave of tears.