Only Love Can Hurt Like This (Jax Teller)

Chapter Five

"We're going to White Horse." Jax smiles, standing up from the couch. He can't help but to take in her legs in the right jeans, now knowing what they look like underneath from her shorts she had on. He is just a man after all.

"Why?" Willow frowns, grabbing her purse as Jax opens her apartment door for her. He watches as she locks it, turning to him with a scowl.

"Because we're celebrating."

"Celebrating what?"

"Your birthday." He starts walking towards the stairs, making her follow begrudgingly.

Willow huffs, "My birthday was two months ago." 

"And you didn't say anything." Jax shrugs as he gets to his bike, holding out a helmet for her, "So we're celebrating late."

Willow looks at the helmet warily, hesitating. Jax raises his brow, "You've ridden before, right?" He can't imagine Nathan not having taken her for rides.

"Yeah." Willow nods, swallowing, "Just, I've only ever ridden with Nathan."

Jax closes his eyes, because he didn't think of that, "Shit— I'm sorry. Look we can—"

"No, no it's fine." Willow shakes her head, taking the helmet from him and putting it on, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Jax questions, a serious look on his face, "You don't have to. We can find another way. You can drive your car."

"No, really." Willow smiles up at him, one that's genuine but still holds anxiety behind it, "It— I'm good. I want to."

Truthfully, she didn't know if she really wanted to, but she's been trying to learn how to do things without Nathan. Her mom told her the first step in moving on with life after death is learning how to do the simple things again.

She's finally stopped making so much food when she cooks, having had too many times with too many leftovers. She's also learned to stop checking her phone every night, waiting for a text to come in and say he's on his way home. That one was a bit harder to break.

Really, Willow is doing better than she thought she would four months after her husbands death.

But she's never rode on a motorcycle without Nathan. He was her first ride, and she just always figured he'd be her last. This is something that snuck up on her, having to learn how to do this without him too.

"Are you sure?" Jax questions her one more time, because he wants to make sure she'll be alright. She's been doing a lot better these past couple months, especially after she got her tattoo. Jax thinks getting Nathan's crow was somewhat of a freeing moment for her, like it took some of the weight of his death away. She's been smiling more, talking more. She hasn't been stumbling over present and past terms like she did in the beginning. And most days, she doesn't have the dark bags under her eyes.

"Yeah." Willows takes the hand he offers her, throwing her leg over his bike as she gets in behind him, "Yeah I'm sure."

"Alright." Jax smiles, "Then you better hold on, I only go fast."

"You better not speed with me on your bike, Jackson Teller."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Darlin." Jax smirks, laughing when she tightens her hold around him with a small yelp as he starts up his bike.