killing time 𖥻 TOMMYINNIT

X. all this traffic

tommyinnit and 18 others followed irispriv

TommyInnit
@tommyinnit
Short stream today, I have to go do adult stuff with Iris.
10:46 AM • 30 May 21 • twitter for iphone
4.7K retweets 19.7K quote Tweets 297.4K likes

tommy had only been streaming for about twenty minutes when he got the call from iris on discord. he had his audio muted, and without alerting his chat he sent back a message confirming their plans later on, saying he was just streaming now. in reply, he got another call from her and eventually moved to put his headphones on. "hang on, chat. iris is trying to call me. just gotta set it up real quick, i didn't think i'd need audio give me a second." he connected the audio and accepted the call. "you alr-"

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" iris was so loud he had to turn her volume down.

he laughed nervously. she didn't sound genuinely mad, but also he could be misreading her voice. "what? what did i do?"

"i am trending on twitter for the first time in my entire life," iris seethed, trying to avoid laughing. tommy could picture her in her bedroom, too worked up to sit, hunched over her desk in her 2011 taylor swift shirt she swore she valued more than him. "wanna guess why?"

"i'm scared to ask." tommy replied, already moving onto twitter to see what was going on. lo and behold, both he and iris were trending.

"because you're a fucking dumbass and you had to go do adult stuff with me!" she was fully laughing now and tommy couldn't hold in his either. the two of them laughed so hard neither of them could breathe. tommy kept trying to come up with something to do, but his chest was wracked so hard with chuckles there was no chance of any words coming out at all.

"wait, no-" he forced out. "that's not what i meant." he heard iris vaguely say something sarcastic, but he was laughing too hard while reading his chat. all of them were spamming huhs, and the whole situation was so fucking dumb he couldn't stop giggling. "i meant like. taxes. stuff like that. me and iris are going to do our taxes."

iris appreciated that tommy didn't want to reveal their actual plans, especially because that would probably cause people to show up. but that answer was so ridiculous that it took all the composure she'd managed to muster, and her head fell against her desk. "that's what we do in our spare time," she agreed.

"yeah, we do our taxes, and then we go return books to the library, right before we buy dishwashing liquid."

"what is it that you think adults do, tom?" iris asked genuinely.

"felonies," tommy replied sagely. "i dunno, i'll have to ask phil." he sat up straighter. "man, i hate," he pretended to look at writing on his hand. "traffic. it really sucks when you're trying to get to the tax place and there's all this traffic."

iris shook her head, affectionate smile on her face that tommy couldn't see. he could hear it though, when she spoke up, her voice practically oozed fondness. "tommy have you ever done taxes before?"

"not really my thing, no." he admitted. "yeah, they don't really like that, do they? doesn't it suck when you're trying to get to the courtroom for tax fraud and there's all this traffic?"

"if you're already on your way to court, might as well commit vehicular manslaughter, right? get you there on time?" the viewers could, however, see tommy's grin as he looked at his best friend's profile picture.

"don't you have solo adult things to do while i work?"

"stop saying it like that!"

tommy had been sent to entertain himself while iris took her test. he'd looked it up ahead of time and there was a place near the dsa that sold vegan doughnuts, so tommy made the fifteen minute trip after iris had gone with the examiner. he'd had to consciously make the decision to not kiss her forehead has he left. it almost seemed instinctive at this point.

she had to know what she was doing. he literally held her hand as he drove her there. tommy knew she was nervous, but he also knew she'd studied for her drivers test for ages, and she'd do fine. the walk gave him time to think. he ordered her a couple he thought she'd like, and stood at the back of the shop with his mask up while he waited.

by the time he grabbed the food there was only ten minutes left until iris was due to finish. he'd arrived back at the dsa when she ran out of the building at the sight of him. iris barrelled into him, beaming widely. "i passed!"

tommy almost dropped the box of donuts in an attempt to hug her back. "that's great! i got you these to celebrate,"

her hair was tangled in her sunglasses and tommy had to get her to stop jumping before could fix it. she pressed her face into his chest and this time tommy gave in, planting a gentle kiss to her hairline. he didn't notice the way her cheeks grew warm at the contact, and she didn't notice her ex boyfriend walking right towards them.

— AUTHOR'S NOTE

wow, i wonder what could be happening