TEMPESTUOUS - Ichiji/Niji/Yonji x Reader

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX: Temporary Fix

I wasn't sure how long I had been up in the tree.

Several hours, at least, considering the sun had passed midpoint in the sky, signalling afternoon.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't get down by myself. It didn't really matter though. The time alone was therapeutic. Something I had desperately needed. Once I had calmed down, I felt terrible about what I had done to both Yonji and Ichiji. They hadn't needed to feel what I had been feeling.

My fingers traced long, deep gouges in the wood of the tree branch, and I thought of Niji too. Had he really needed to talk to me about something important? Was he not coping either? The marks seemed to tell tale of that, but I couldn't exactly go and seek him out.

Maybe I shouldn't have climbed up here...

"You're in my spot." I just barely managed to catch myself when that voice called out, and I peered over the edge to find Niji looking up at me from the ground.
"I needed a place to think... I was just too overwhelmed..." I admitted, leaning back when he climbed up to me at a startling pace. "Jesus, are you a monkey?"

Hanging from one of the thinner branches slightly above, Niji scoffed half-heartedly, nudging me forward with his boot so he could sit behind me.
"First a vampire, now a monkey. What am I to you?" He muttered, settling in with his back to the trunk.

"Vampire monkey." I joked, although it was rather flat. I was even more exhausted than I had been before after my little meltdown. Carefully, Niji guided me back so I was leaning against him, his arms awkwardly around my middle.

"You thoroughly freaked them out. I think Yonj almost cried." Niji snorted, but it was just as flat as my joke had been. Immediately I felt terrible, curling in on myself again.
"I didn't mean to..." I whimpered, staring at a small ant marching alone on the branch.

"It was the right move. None of us were helping you any. It was a decent fight or flight reaction." Niji shrugged, still tense in the way he held me so I wouldn't fall. Before I could refute him, I recalled his expression I had seen as I was running away, slightly turning my head to try and look at him.

"I know you hate me asking this...but are you alright..? You looked...troubled before..." I knew it was unlikely he'd open up to me, considering how high and mighty he usually acted, but I thought it was worth a shot.

He was quiet for a little while, shifting every so often as though he couldn't get conformable.
"Does it matter? You've got your own shit." His response was unexpected, but it was something I could work with.

"It matters to me. You know that. I worry about you." I probably shouldn't have used the word worry, but it was too late to take it back now. Niji scoffed, the warm rush of air blowing my hair slightly out of place.
"What, cuz I got, what did you call it? Overwhelmed after that last mission?"

Major understatement...

I placed my fingers on one of the arms he had wrapped around me, looking down at the white of his sleeves.
"No, not overwhelmed. Inconsolable. I never want to see you hurting like that, Niji..." It was the truth. I didn't ever want to see anybody hurting like that, let alone somebody I cared about.

Niji was quiet again, and I carefully let my head rest up beneath his chin. His heartbeat wasn't quite steady against the back of my shoulders.
"If you want the truth..." He started, voice wavering, like he wasn't sure he should be saying it. "...I don't think I'll ever be okay again. Not like this."

I don't want that for you...

He settled his chin atop my head, his arms relaxing ever so slightly.
"I mean, how could I ever come back from sobbing into Yonji's arms like a little bitch? It's just...we went through that shit together, and he was the only person who could understand it, even only a little bit..."