Wandering In The Deep Fog, I'm Star Lost

A Stranger's Family

Trigger Warnings : arguments, crying, post break-up, overwhelming feeling.

Chan feels weird.

To go to a complete stranger's house supposedly his parents and to sleep on a bed that used to be his.

He's not familiar at all with the place and all the adrenaline from his rescue fades away. It sinks in that he's alive, has a family and soulmates and broke up with Youngsoo.

He broke up with his Youngsoo.

Chan shifts on the side, feels his eyes burn with tears and can't stop the sniffles leaving his mouth.

Youngsoo had been everything to him. His lover, his friends, his confidant.

And to have all of that come crashing down with reality... is overwhelming.

With everything going on, it was hard to even think of losing his lover. A love he wasn't supposed to have since he's got soulmates now.

Talking about his soulmates, he doesn't know what to think about them. They've been understanding of his situation when he came back, had let him cry and even held his hands when they were in the car without asking questions, just gentle and caring touches. They've talked between each other to ease him in the group but Chan wasn't really receptive at the moment with what happened, blankly staring out the window.

They're his soulmates but... he doesn't love them like he loves Youngsoo.

Isn't it... wrong ? Shouldn't he love them the moment he's with them ?

Well, he doesn't really know how the whole soulmate thing works, so maybe he's wrong ?

He doesn't know. But he's clearly overwhelmed by his loss and his so-called family.

Changbin had escorted him to the police station where he found his family, teary-eyed and parted lips at his arrival.

He doesn't want to remember how he's taken a step back when his mother tried to embrace her, nor the hurt filling her eyes and the way his father 's shoulders faltered sadly.

He's been too overwhelmed and tired to file a complaint, every word spilled in his ears forming a headache. They all seemed to notice it was taking a toll on him because they told him to go back home and to rest. And soon after his soulmates had left, he'd been taken by his family, deciding he clearly needed to rest before they talked about everything.

For now, he's tired, especially since the tears haven't stopped falling. He hadn't slept in the plane, too engrossed in the mini-games of the screen in front of him and the movies he watched, hoping to forget whatever that shook his world upside down.

He closes his eyes, hoping to fall asleep without the guilt of pushing his family away when they tried to embrace him and the heartbroken loss of his boyfriend, now ex.

He hopes to wake up from this reality that seems too much of a nightmare at the moment.

He wakes up to a gentle knock on his door.

He rubs his puffy eyes and sighs when he notices that it wasn't a dream.

It's real. Everything he's been feeling yesterday is real.

He really broke up with Youngsoo.

He sits, "Yes ?"

"It's me, you- your mother," she trails hesitantly, "can I come in ?"

Chan wants to refuse for some reason, maybe because it's all been too much for his tiny stupid brain ?

Or he still doesn't want to face reality.