Jó nekem...

Viszonzatlan.

Sziasztok!
Sajnos nem igazán van lélekjelenlétem feltölteni ebbe a könyvbe, bár úgy érzem ennél már sokkalta több résznek kellene fent lennie. A címből kiderül a mai téma. Igen, a könyv a 'Jó nekem' elnevezést kapta, tehát jogos lehet a belső konfliktus, miért taglal 'negatív' témát is a gyűjtemény. Nos, erre az a válaszom, hogy mindegy milyen szituációban vagy, meg kell keresned a dolog pozitív oldalát is, még akkor is ha a küldetés számodra lehetetlennek bizonyul. Tudom, vannak olyan esetek amiben igazán nem látsz reménysugarat, egy cseppet sem, de olyan felfogású emberként aki szerint 100%-osan ki kell élvezni az életet, úgy gondolom, annak is örülni kell, ha valaki ilyen vagy hasonló érzelmeket él át, mint ami ebben a részben lesz téma. A mai egy angol iromány lesz, hiszen ez az a nyelv amiben a legkényelmesebben írok. Háttérsztorinak annyit, hogy ez teljesen anonim, lehet, hogy a jövőbeli bxb oneshot-os könyvemben fog hasonló visszaköszönni. Jó olvasást!

Once I saw an Instagram post of yours. I immediately thought 'Wow. You look good. Will you ever be mine?'. The first time that I met you, I knew it will be a long ass ride for me. I learned that you got broken up with and currently have a girlfriend. That night I met her as well. Something inside me was telling me she is sus. Now, we've worked out together for the 3rd time and you were really upset. My best friend told me by just looking at me a certain way and I knew. He asked me to hug you, and I did because even if I can't relate, I could understand your situation. I only reach your shoulders, and I could smell your perfume; you smell really good. For me, it felt good, I don't know if it did for you. Whilst the 3/4th of our workout, you broke down crying. I wanted to pull you close, hug you, and just let you bury yourself in my arms as I try to comfort you, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable 'cause you're still in theory, in a relationship. More than 6 months ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt myself with liking someone in the near future, but it seems like I can't keep that. I knew it for the first time I saw you: Yes, baby, I fell for you.

Yesterday, you and your girlfriend broke up which I got to know today. You posted a TikTok in your 'close friends' story and I am in it. That feels great, but what doesn't is that I can feel how broken you are. I wrote you a message, and your response was so cute. I don't want to be a jerk but I wish I could show you how real love can feel like, which I have so much to give of.

Today my best friend told me how utterly broken you are, that you can't let go of her and are waiting for the moment at when you get back together. I'm more than sure that I like you, but something inside tells me that you will never like me back.

Yesterday, my best friend showed me your chat with him. When I read it I couldn't help but to be so frustrated, I actually threw a tantrum. I was in the gym which was great because I could deduce my frustration, but it's still eating me from the inside. Also, I was stupid enough to hug you, maybe I was too eager to see you after we haven't met for more than 2 weeks. Also, you chatted with me on new years eve. You're confusing. I had hope, but then it all came crashing down when you told my best friend that you still hadn't let go of her. I don't know what to do anymore, sometimes I feel like going cold would be the best decision.

Ha valami hasonlón mész keresztül, kérlek ne hezitálj és írj rám nyugodtan! Lehet, hogy trust issue-kkal küzdesz, de légy bátor és próbáld meg ezeket jól pofán baszni, az érzéseidet nem kell szégyellni, mindened titokban van nálam!

Szeretettel,
Halahala4.❤️