4th January 2022
Dear diary,
I don't know what to do anymore, all I can do is write these stupid poems and these worthless songs..
03:38 My wrists are stinging,
my ears are ringing
I don't know what to do.
I lay here crying,
I lay here fighting
And all I'm thinking of is you.
03:39 I want to go,
I want to leave,
Please tell me it's okay.
I want to be free,
I want to run away,
I'm tired of fighting every day.
03:40 Its too much,
I'm not okay,
I don't know what else to say.
I'm not enough,
I should be fine.
I'm disposable anyway.
03:41 I can't do it anymore,
I don't think I can power through.
03:42
This is pathetic. I should be asleep, not laying awake at four in the morning, writing some stupid poem and feeling sorry for myself.
People have their own problems, they don't need to read about mine. I can still hear them, telling me to just vanish. Their bitter whispers stinging my ears. Maybe I should listen. All I ever manage to do is disappoint people.
I don't know, this is stupid.
I quit therapy a few months ago, I thought I was getting better but I wasn't.
I relapsed tonight. You know, all that "I draw in silver, the ink runs red" bullshit.
The ink doesn't run red anymore, not as much as it used to anyway. I let it heal too much. Four months 13 days and 7 hours of being clean, down the drain. I'm so tired.
I'm glad school was cancelled. Christmas break just finished, My first day was supposed to be tomorrow, but it's a Friday. I was dreading it. There's no damn way I would've gone in anyway. Just another new school, another year of torment.
Another year of isolation.
It doesn't make sense, I hate being alone, but I can't stand being around my friends, or parents, or anyone at the moment.
I hate everyone and everything. And that just makes me hate myself.
God I want to die.
Dear diary,
My name is Noah Rojas, and I'm not sure how long I'm gonna last here.
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Song recommendation: Get you the moon - Kina
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YOU ARE READING
I'm tired.
General FictionMy name is Noah Rojas, This is my story. I've moved schools eight times in two years due to my peers. None of them have ever really accepted me. I never really made any friends, the ones that I did make just turned their backs on me to save their o...
