I Carry Your Heart (I Carry it in My Heart)

Chapter 6

"I'm not hungry," Regina answered painfully.

"You haven't eaten in days, Regina. You need to eat something," her father pleaded through the closed and locked door.

"I'm not hungry," Regina said again.

"I know you're upset, sweetheart. But you're not doing either of you any good if you don't eat something."

"It hurts too much, Daddy," Regina said, tears once again rushing down her face.

"Regina, please," Henry continued to beg through the closed bedroom door.

"I'm not hungry," Regina said again, effectively ending the conversation.

"If you need anything, know that I am here for you. Anything at all," Henry said before walking away. Regina closed her eyes and focused on the pain between her legs.

"We were supposed to be together..." Regina whispered, brushing her thumb across Emma's initials on her arm. "This was supposed to be our time. And she took that away from us."

The pain was unbearable. She barely slept the entire time, and by the third day of no release, she was sure she was going to die. But still she refused to touch herself. Refused to release. How could she? This was supposed to be her first time with Emma. Their first cycle together. This was supposed to be when they joined themselves together, their time to become one. And that was all taken away from them by her mother. All she could do was cry, her body shaking from grief and pain. She would cry until she wore herself out, falling asleep for a short time, only to wake up and start all over again.

Eventually, her painful erection subsided, indicating the end of her rut, the pain of non-release fading into the distance, leaving only the emotional pain behind. Although her rut was over, she stayed where she was, locked away from the rest of the world, tears still falling, soaking her already tear-stained pillow. She knew she had to face the world again tomorrow, had to return to school where she wouldn't feel the tell-tale skipping heart beat between third and fourth period when Emma walked by. She knew she would open her locker and no note from Emma would fall out. She knew when she left school at the end of the day, Emma would not be waiting for her by her car. And she knew, no matter what, the pain in her chest would never go away.

Only Emma Swan would make that pain go away.

<~**~>

March

It was Friday afternoon, and Regina parked her car in the Storybrooke Elementary School parking lot, just like she did every Friday afternoon. She walked through the familiar halls, finding the same classroom she had once attended fourth grade in. She opened the door, noticing the teacher seated at her desk, reading something on her phone, a grave expression on her face.

"Hey," Mary Margaret said when she saw Regina walk through the door.

"Hi, have you heard anything?" Regina asked, cutting to the chase.

"Yes..." Mary Margaret said, her voice trailing off at the end.

"It's bad news, isn't it?" Regina asked, already knowing the answer.

"I received a package in the mail yesterday. They returned the phone I bought for Emma. The note attached said they confiscated Emma's phone as soon as she left, in an attempt to stop her from contacting you or I. I tried to open it to see if they erased it, but I don't know Emma's passcode," Mary Margaret explained.

"Try 0-9-1-4," Regina informed. "It's the day we met." Instead of writing the number down, Mary Margaret reached into her purse and handed the phone to Regina.