Chapter Eleven

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"No, Goddamnit!" Kellin screeched, swiping the pan from my hands. "How the fuck do you not know how to make panca- What is that?"

I shrugged. "Tortilla."
Kellin stared at me blankly.
"Mexican food." I simplified, and he looked more closely at the floury dough sifting around in the pan.

"Oh." He frowned. Kellin hates to be wrong, and it really shows sometimes.

"Hey, it's okay. Here look, we can make it together." I said, trying to cheer up the pouting boy standing before me.

I wrapped hands around his hands, holding the pan with him from behind.

"I'm not a child, Vic, I can-"

"Shhhhh." I walked him over to the stove again, helping him cook the tortilla. I dropped the pan and walked us over to get the last few ingredients, but Kellin suddenly spun around on his heels and planted a kiss onto my lips.

I kissed back, pushing him against the counter. He began rolling his hips to mine, and I suddenly had an extremely mean plan. I deepened the kiss, wrapping one of my arms around his waist, and with the other I reached up and....grabbed the spice I needed from the self.

"Hey! Not fair." Kellin said, pushing my shoulder.

"Its not a time for sex. It is a time for tortillas." I teased, sticking my tongue out at him. He crossed his arms and pouted.

"But what if I just wanted to kiss you?"

"Sure, Kellin. After an hour make out session, all you wished to do was kiss." I smirked, and he rolled his eyes.

It's been a week since Kellin and I first had sex, and goddamn, he's basically horny all the time now. Not that I'm not.
Not that we haven't had sex almost daily.

He muttered something under his breath, then went back to attempting to make a tortilla, despite having no idea what they are.

I sat at the table as Kellin brought out a plate of burnt chips.

"I tried." He sadly mumbled, then sat across from me.

Suddenly he received a phone call, his ringtone loudly interrupting the peace of the house.

"Hello?" He said, as he got up from the table to go to our room.

Trying to find something to entertain me until he comes back, I looked around the table, my attention landing on a large black notebook at the corner of the table.

I picked up the official looking book, and opened it to the first page.

Page #1
Kellin's Songbook
Please return if found to:

Kellin's old address was crossed out, replaced with his current one, meaning the book is still in use.

Page #200
Untitled song idea 110
I know you love it when my hairs' pulled back
Ugh, it drives you crazy.
I know you love it when I look like that,
that tell me what you want to do, yeah
You know I love to get the sheets messed up, I put my hands on your chest, because it might get rough.
Don't stop me, baby, till you've had enough,
I need more I need more I need more!

Got my hands all over you
Ain't nothing I can do
It's like we're having déjà, déjà vu!

"What are you doing?" A voice startled me, and I fell out of my chair.

"Nothing." I said standing up quickly.

"You were reading my songbook." Kellin accused, pointing at the open book on the floor.

"Yes, and your lyrics, they're..."

"Shitty?"

"No!"

"I'm glad you think so. You should meet my friends."
____

"And this is my boyfriend, Vic." Kellin said, and I waved to his friends. They all smiled back, clearly unfazed by the fact that Kellin is gay.
They all just happened to play instruments or sing and occasionally bounced ideas of each other. I wouldn't exactly call them a band.

"Hey, Kellin, my man!" Justin yelled, strutting up to Kellin as they did some sort of awkward handshake.

"Hey, Justin. What's been going on?"

"The usual, smoking weed with my mom."

Gabe spat his drink back into the cup he was holding as he tried not to laugh too loudly.

"Lovely." I laughed, sitting on the couch between Gabe and Nick.
_____

After a while of talking, a bit of playing some songs, and a few beers, everyone was tired and wanted to go home.

"Hey, Kells, have you told Vic about the tour?" Jack piped up. Kellin's face turned to a look of horror, then a death glare, which he shot at Jack.

"What tour?" I asked, my curiosity peaking. I hope Kellin wasn't going. I couldn't handle being without him, and I don't want to tour to God knows where with God knows what's ahead.

"Uhm," Kellin shifted around anxiously on his feet.

"We're going to tour around the country for a few months!" Nick said, hopping up from his seat. "We've been planning this for a month now!"

A month?

"Uhm, Kellin. May I speak to you?"

Kellin gulped, and I dragged him away from the group.

"You didn't think to tell me you were leaving?" I scream-whispered. Kellin didn't respond. "Answer me!"

"I didn't want to tell you!"

"So you were just planning on leaving me?"

Kellin shook his head quickly.

"No, that's not what I meant!" He raised his voice, and all the guys turned around to stare at what was going down. I ignored them.

"I don't want you to go!"

"You're being selfish!"

"I'm selfish? You're the one who isn't thinking about the fact that I don't want to be alone anymore! You promised I wouldn't have-" my voice cracked, tears blurring my vision. "To be alone."

"You're the one who is ignoring the fact that this could be my big break!"

I sighed. "How important is this to you?"

"More than anything in the world." Kellin said. My heart shattered in that very moment. Kellin suddenly realized what he had said.

"Wait, Vic!" He called out, but I was already walking out the door.

"No, Kellin. I'm too selfish, remember? All we do is fight! I'm not good for you, Kellin! I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anyone! I'm not good enough for anything. Don't follow me." I cried, walking towards the bus stop, leaving a broken looking Kellin at the door to one of the guy's houses.

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