•Before I Let Go•

•Chapter 13•

Cory's brows meshed, "It pisses you off that I didn't tell you, or because it's not mine?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just pissed at you for being here."

"Do you want me to go?" Cory asked. Every bone in his body ached that she didn't.

"No, that's what I'm pissed about! I'm pissed that you're here because I want you here."

A crooked smile sprouted across Cory's shocked face while staring back at Alida in utter disbelief. A soft laugh escaped his nose, questioning himself if he'd heard her right.

"You know what—forget it." Alida turned, starting up the steps to her bedroom.

Cory rushed to her side, seeing that she was about to take a tumble. "Whoa, you alright?"

"Don't touch me!" Alida yelled, pushing Cory's hand away from her hip.

"I-I'm sorry." His hands raised in surrender, showcasing he wouldn't touch her again—not without permission.

"You should be sorry." Alida growled, "Sorry for coming here, sorry for putting your hands on me, sorry for leaving me. You need to be sorry." Alida started up the steps—Cory right behind her in case she fell again. She stopped near the top, turning back around.

       She expected him to be at the bottom of the steps, "You-" When seeing that he was right on her heels, her eyes adjusted to him bewildered, "You- can't keep running, Cory. You have to stop."

"I'm not running from anything. If anything, I'm facing it."

"You ran from me."

"And I'm- I'm trying to make up for that." Cory said; but it wasn't completely true.

His intention wasn't to make up for the way he done her, it was to ask for forgiveness—so he could finally let go.

"Who are you trying to fool, Cory? I know where you're going—I've seen where you've been." Alida strained, leaving Cory behind as she continued to the landing.

Cory followed, watching through the doorway as Alida threw herself onto the bed—her body limp and awkward as she struggled getting under the duvet she was laying on.

        Cory stood over Alida assessing how she was going to figure this one out on her own.

He sighed, "Let me help—please. You're making me insane watching you try to do that."

"Then don't watch!"

Cory sat on the edge of the bed, taking Alida's shoes off. He half expected her to kick him, but was surprised when her body went limp.

He placed her shoes by the side of the bed before gently moving her hips by her knees to the side to move the blanket out from under her weight. He pulled the covers up over her body, enjoying the sight of her stillness.

"I guess I'm gonna head out-"

"Don't." Alida reached out to Cory, grabbing a hold of his hand. "Don't leave... please don't leave me."

Cory knew Alida hadn't meant it the way it was said; however, the phrasing she had used sent a spark of tantalizing warmth throughout his body.

"You want me stay?"

"I never wanted you to leave." Alida spoke with closed eyes, "Be honest, Cory... is the baby yours?"

"No." Cory spoke low, his voice full of uncertainty. Though Cory was certain that it wasn't his, the weight of Alida's hand caused him to be stuck in a strange hypnotic trance.

"How can you be sure?"

"From what I know, you gotta have sex to make a baby and... well, I haven't done that in over a year."

"Bullshit." Alida squinted an eye open, looking to Cory with a drunken half-grin. Cory blushed, laughing with slight shame. "You have models throwing themselves at you."

"I don't care about that; I just can't be with women outside the business. It's not a rule or anything, I just... I can't trust anyone." Cory admitted.

He had everything to lose, while they had everything to gain. People within the business understood this, they had their reputation to uphold—it was their livelihood.

"Did you trust Stella Carpenter?" Alida mumbled, her words melting over one another in a drunken, tired glaze.

"I don't know Stella Carpenter. I've never even met the woman before in my life."

Alida asked, "Did you bring drugs into my house?" The change in topic had blindsided Cory.

"I don't do drugs anymore. I smoke a little bud every now and then, take what I'm prescribed, drink-"

"You're an alcoholic."

"Yeah." Cory admitted. He smoked pot to combat the night terrors, he took Restoril for insomnia; but nothing worked as well as a good ol' fashioned stiff drink.

"I still think you're running away." Alida snuggled deep into the pillow, tucking her arms into her chest—her hands beneath her chin with closed eyes. "If you're gonna run away from me again, you better do it soon—before Zora gets too attached. I don't think I can handle it again, Cory."

Cory watched as Alida drifted off to sleep, her breath becoming slow and shallow. He lost track of time watching her, realizing that at some point, Alida had begun to softly snore.

Placing his hand at her waist, Cory inched closer—his hazel eyes darting along her peacefully pretty face.

"I came back here to tell you what really happened that night with Aidan. I came back to tell you that... I still love you." Cory planted a kiss on Alida's temple, "It's the only way I could say goodbye." Cory said while taking in the sight of her. "Seeing you again though—I don't know if I still wanna let go." Cory admitted as he moved his hand along Alida's back.

       He wanted to hold her; to lay next to her and watch her sleep. Cory knew, however, that come by morning, all the things Alida had said would mean nothing to her—the drunken fog would no longer be clouding her judgement.

Alida would see Cory for the worthless nuisance that he was.