The next thing Maverick is aware of is sitting on a side bench, a medic checking over him for any injuries. The sudden stop in wind makes his eyes water and his exposed skin ache.
"Sir? We think you have twisted your wrist, so we'll bandage it when we get to the carrier's sickbay, alright?" The medic says.
He must've nodded, because they leave him.
His head is empty, and his heart feels like it's stopped.
"Nick I'm sorry..." he whispers, sniffing.
The warmth of the helicopter and the white noise of it's rotors is overwhelming, making the room small and stuffy. But Maverick doesn't do anything. He just can't. He just sits there and stares at the handle of the door in front of him.
If the storm gets to the carrier he's going to feel seasick.
Can't be sicker than what I am right now.

He lets his mind wonder for a while, but it keeps returning to the spinning. The white noise, the controls failing, the sky and sea mixing into one, Iceman's voice in his ears-
Ice.
He doesn't know. How could he know? What's he feeling? What's he doing?

Iceman is slumped against one of the staircases leading to the deck, unsuccessfully spinning a pen across his fingers, dropping it every few seconds.
Please, please let them both be okay. Please.
The pen falls to the floor, rolling for a few seconds as the boat sways, and then back. Ice catches it with the tip of his boot, staring at it.
But the sound of a helicopter's rotors makes him raise his head, pick up the pen and almost start running up the stairs.
He almost runs into Slider, who emerges from the room he was in earlier.
"I heard it, I'm coming," he says, following Ice to the deck.

But when they get there, Ice's heart drops to his feet.
A stretcher, a sheet over it.
"What-" He lets out a breath and just as quickly sucks one in again. "What?!"
No, no no no this can't be happening who is that? Is that another helicopter? Was there someone else out there? That can't be Maverick that can't be Goose what happened?!
Ice glances at Slider next to him, his face is ashen with shock.
"No-"
Something stops him from running at the helicopter.
"Ice.." Slider says. "Hold on,"
"No- no-" His breath is coming fast, way too fast. "Mav-"
Slider puts his arms around Ice's shoulders, stopping him from moving, turning them around so Ice can't see the helicopter, preparing himself for the worst.
"S-Slider let go.." His voice wavers.
He shakes his head as he watches another two medics come out of the helicopter, leading someone in flightgear, their shoulders slumped and their black haired head lowered.
Ice tries to turn around, but Slider's arms are like a vice. "Slider-" he gets out.
Slider can hear the tears in his cracking voice. "Ice," he says, his voice low. "Ice Maverick's there, he's alright,"
The blond pilot lets out a breath, relief filling him for all of three seconds. Until he remembers the stretcher.
Goose?! That was Goose?!
The wind around them gets ten degrees colder as he realises that it was Goose's body on the stretcher with the sheet over it.

Goose, Mother Goose as Ice had made up for him, Goose who's family is waiting for them on the shore, Goose who's son Iceman and Maverick had been babysitting three days ago, and then they were going to spend the day with tomorrow.
Ice feels like he can't breathe, shivering violently, Slider's arms still around him. "Goose?"
Slider slowly exhales, feeling as empty as Ice. "Yeah-"
"Oh god," Ice moves his hand up to cover his mouth, his worst fears confirmed.
Nobody else on deck notices the steel-hearted pilot and his RIO being each others lifeline as the death of one of their closest friends sinks in.

~🍁~

Maverick shuts his eyes, trying to ignore the carrier rocking from side to side; the storm did hit it, and it's a bad storm. It's not the worst one he's encountered, but on every unexpected sway he tenses and clenches his jaw, keeping his eyes closed.
He feels numb and sick and nothing else.
He's as comfortable as he could get on a night like this, in a t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, leaning on the pillows, hugging his knees to his chest.
It's warm and muffled in the room, the storm sounds so far away. But he feels so cold, the feeling of the sea around him from his chest down, the decreasing temperature of Goose's skin under his hands.
No one has been to see him. Not even Iceman. That hurts.
He opens his eyes, the nothingy dark of his eyelids disquieting.

Why hasn't Ice come to see me? He thinks helplessly. Have I done something so wrong that he doesn't want to see me? I've effectively killed his best friend, and compared to what Goose was, I'm nothing to him.
The thoughts hurt, even though they're true. That makes them hurt more.
He sniffs, then the carrier jolts again, and the sick feeling comes and goes in unsettling waves.
Did he tell Ice that he gets seasick?
Not that that would sway him coming to see him.
Maverick sighs, breathing in the disinfectant of the bed and it's pillows and covers. His right wrist hurts too, the nurse bandaged it when he came into the sickbay. He doesn't feel like eating, so the tray of food a nurse gave him earlier has been left. There's nothing to do, apart from lay on the bed and try not to feel seasick.

A little while later, hours, or minutes, he doesn't know, Maverick sits up and leans over to take a sip of the glass of water on the bedside table. It's cold.
The door opens.
Maverick ignores it, it's probably a nurse. He sits back on the pillows, still holding his knees up, it hurts less.
The footsteps of whoever it is come towards his bed. He doesn't care who it is, he just wants to be alone. Or maybe not. He doesn't know.
They reach his bed and sigh softly, almost empathetically.
Maverick turns his head to look at them.
And it's Ice.
He looks like he's been crying, his eyes are reddened.

"Hey," he says as he sits next to him on the other side of the bed.
Maverick doesn't reply, he's still in shock, his lips slightly parted. He's here? Why?
"Pete..."
And that's it. The final touch. His name, spoken so tenderly by someone he'd be embarrassed by to see him like this last month.
Maverick crumbles, swallowing back tears until he reaches Ice's chest.
Then he breaks, shuddering and sobbing, releasing the tears he didn't know he had left.
"Shhh..." Ice murmurs, not in the way to get him to be quiet, but in the way that would soothe him. "I know it hurts,"
Goose is gone. Goose is gone because of you.
Maverick inhales, his breath shaking. "I'm sorry- I-Ice, I didn't mean to... I-"
"Maverick, no," he replies, "Don't. Don't blame yourself for this,"
"But- it's my fault,"
"It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault, it was an accident, okay?"
"Ice I just- I just killed Goose, how could that be anyone's fault but mine?"
"Pete, you did not kill Goose," Ice's voice is concerned. "Don't think that,"
He sniffs again, putting his head back on Ice's shoulder. "... I get it if you don't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't wanna be with me,"
Ice kisses Maverick's head in protest. "I always want to be with you... and I think you need someone now more than ever,"
Maverick couldn't argue with that. He was exhausted, too much had happened in the span of twenty four hours. "Please stay here Tom,"
"I'm not leaving my wingman on a night like this,"
And Maverick finally feels warm.

// AN:
The second part; Cold Winter Days is on my profile!! It continues from here over there ^^

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