Closest To Heaven That I'll Ever Be. *Complete*

18. Stupid Cupid

I left Hermione's that night even more confused than ever. I didn't sleep when I got home, and I spent the entire day in the warehouse trying to work on the machine but really going over everything that was said between myself and Harry.

I ended up calling it quits at about 3 pm. What was the point in trying to work when I was getting sweet fuck all done?

I ended up walking through muggle London. It was safer out here. Less chance of me being found out in the open surrounded my muggles. Most of my friends, although they were open to my fascination with muggles, and yes I have been fascinated ever since I met Hermione, and Pansy was a bloody good sport and always happy for me to bring muggle things into our home, like full electricity, television, cookers, even a microwave. But they more than likely wouldn't be wondering around muggle London on their own at 4 o'clock.

I needed time to think. Time to rearrange my thoughts.

Harry had given me a lot to think about when he kissed me. I mean, I stand by what I said, I do not feel for him the way he feels for me. I did at one time, but not any more. Hell, I thought I loved him at that time. I was a fool. I only realised afterwards that it was more lust than anything else.

I was actually very thankful to Harry that night for rejecting me because I was ready to give him...well, all of me. I am sure Ron and Hermione were very thankful, too.

But could I go back to those feelings if I just let myself go? I mean, it was a nice kiss. Well, several kisses. They were sweet and, to be frank, a little inexperienced, which only added to the cuteness of it all. There was no real spark there. But there was a little tingle. A very small little tingle.

So what would happen if I let him...woo me? Maybe I would develop feelings, maybe I wouldn't. But could I really do that to Ginny? And if we tried, and it didn't work, he would have missed his chance to be with her, and Hermione and Ron would be stuck in the middle of what would probably be a nasty breakup.

I also could not ignore my feelings for Draco. The bloody blonde who was always at the centre of my thoughts, always making me friggin smile and laugh. Mixed signal giver and yet complete charmer. I love spending time with him and I know that we could be great friends, if nothing more. The choice was really up to him.

As I said, lots of things to think about.

I was happily strolling down a small street filled with independent stores not looking at anything in particular, just contemplating on how fucked up my life had become lately when I heard:

"Addalie?"

Just my fucking luck.

I turned. "Hello Draco. I didn't expect to see you here."

He blushed when I looked behind to see what store he was coming out of. A lingerie store. "Uh...yeah... I just thought it was -"

"Quieter and fewer people know you here?"

He sighed. "Yeah pretty much."

"Well it was nice to see you," I smiled and turned heading down the next street. For a few minutes it was peaceful. I browsed the windows and looked for a new dress. Pansy had mentioned that she was planning a night out soon and if I didn't find myself an outfit, Merlin knows what she would dress me in.

I stood in the window of one of the boutique's looking at a dress. It was very revealing. Very short. Not something that I would usually wear - ever. But for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off it. It would be perfect for the night out. Not something that even Pansy would think me capable of wearing. I was contemplating whether to go in the shop. I could feel what was like a magnetic force pulling me forward to the door.