ALPHA STRIKE |rooster x oc|

chapter 15- just okay

The funeral was one of the worst days of Clarke's life. She woke up and got ready in a trance, not fully waking up until she did the last button on her white uniform and looked in the mirror. Something about seeing herself in full, formal uniform made it all real. She looked over herself multiple times, wishing she could rip the clean white polyester off her body. Shove it to the back of the closet and run away. But she knew she couldn't. She held her hat in front of her and fiddled with the brim. When she looked back at the mirror she saw a tear falling down her cheek slowly. Knowing that she couldn't do that today, she wiped it with her finger, put her hat on, and forced her shoulders back. Everyone had gone home the night before to get real sleep and be ready for the morning. She met Bradley at the cemetery; he also looked like this was the last place he wanted to be. They joined the other pilots and fell into the line of pressed white. Her eyes wandered down the line and saw her dad and gave him the best smile she could manage. He just looked at her for a moment, then returned his gaze forward. She then spotted Blair seated next to her mother. Blair found her at the same time and smiled. Clarke smiled back, or gave what she thought was a smile, and held up her right hand with her index and middle finger crossed. Blair returned the gesture. An officer stepped out of the line and called everyone to attention. The sound of everyone's arms stiffly hitting their sides was the last thing Clarke remembered.

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Arms wrapped around her from behind as she lay on the couch, her face to the back of it, and a soft kiss was placed on her cheek. She felt the warmth from his body as Bradley laid with her. 

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey. You okay? Need anything?"

"Just for time to stop. I never want to leave this spot. Right here everything is...safe. No funerals, no arguments, no missions that could get everyone I love killed. Just me and you... I don't know. I just wish..."

"I know," Bradley soothed, pulling her closer as she let out a shaky breath. "I know. Today was really hard. Harder than I thought it would be. I haven't been to a funeral since mom's."

"You were at my mom's, stupid." Clarke nudged him.

"Yeah, I mean, I was there but not really...there. I was still in that weird spot after my mom's. I didn't talk to anyone besides you and Blair for like 3 months."

"I remember. My dad and...Ice...were so worried. Everyday we got bombarded with questions about you. I think the only word I could even think of to tell them was 'okay'. That's kinda how I feel right now. Just okay. Actually kinda can't wait to go back to work tomorrow, distract myself."

"Me too." They were both quiet for a while before Clarke's stomach growled loudly. "You okay over there?" Bradley asked with a chuckle. 

"Yeah, but I'm starving." Clarke laughed. Bradley instantly jumped from the couch and ran to the kitchen. He soon returned with his arms full of an array of chips, cookies, drinks, and leftover pizza. Clarke covered her mouth and laughed as he set his spread on the coffee table, almost dropping everything. He rejoined her on the couch and they dug in. 

About half an hour later the pizza was finished, all the drinks were half gone, and a sizeable dent had made into both the chips and cookies. Bradley sat back and placed his hands on his very full stomach, sighing. Clarke also sighed and then rested her head on his legs. His hand found its way to her hair and began smoothing it over and twisting it between his fingers. "I'm so full," he mumbled. Clarke nodded in agreement, "Me too." The silence resumed and he continued to play with her hair. The sensation was soothing to Clarke. She looked up at him, her eyes half open as sleep threatened to come over her, and smiled. He looked down and smiled back before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips. It was short, but so was the break between the first and second kisses. Clarke sat up and reconnected their lips. They were soft, but had a heat behind them. A ding from a phone almost interrupted them, but they both ignored it. It was harder to ignore the next few that came, all happening close together. They both reluctantly picked up their phones. Clarke had texts from Blair, Phoenix, and her Dad as well as an email from the Admiral. "You get that email from Cyclone?" she asked with her finger hovering over it. 

"Yeah, it just says URGENT. Wonder what's up," Bradley said as he examined his screen closer. They both opened it at the same time, blindsided by the information it contained.