A Search for Balance

Chapter 24 - Cross the Line

"No?" Katriona said after waiting for him to continue. "That's it, nothing more? You're worse off than I thought." She slid from her armchair and sat on the floor with him, gently touching his arm. "I'm here for you, you know that. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll only judge you a little."

This time, Orion didn't laugh.

"I made a terrible mistake," he told Katriona quietly, before filling her in on everything that had happened since his return. How he had found out that Lizzie was engaged, and the surprising disappointment that had come with it; her warranted anger at him, and how they had rebuilt their friendship until Orion wasn't so sure that friendship was what he wanted anymore.

When Katriona heard about what Matthew had done to Lizzie after finding her keepsakes, her mouth dropped open in outrage, and she sighed deeply at the part that had come after.

"It was foolish to hope, I know," Orion finished his report, "but being with her felt like nothing had changed, and I genuinely thought she felt the same. I don't know how I could be so wrong."

Katriona was quiet, contemplating what she had heard.

"I don't think you were wrong at all," she said eventually. "Lizzie changed after you were gone. We all thought fame had gotten to her head, but from how you describe it, it sounds like the old Lizzie is still in there somewhere."

Orion shook his head. "It's not our place to judge who Lizzie has chosen to become. The only one she needs to be at peace with is herself. Only because the sun shines on us differently, doesn't mean that she herself has changed."

His voice had taken on a bitter ring. "The line I shouldn't have crossed was plain for me to see, yet I did it anyway. I never stopped loving her, but by the time I realised it, it was too late for me to turn back. Asking for a second chance was gambling with fate, and here is what I got from it."

There was a short pause before Katriona snorted audibly. "Are you even listening to yourself? You're sitting here in your room, whining about your fate over vegan eggnog as if there was nothing you could do about it."

Orion frowned. "The universe -"

"Screw the universe," Katriona said vehemently. "Love isn't a Bludger you have to dodge. You're a Chaser, so go and chase after what you want. If you want to be with Lizzie, you will need to fight for her."

"It's not me she wants."

"Aren't you?" Katriona asked. "Because from how I see it, it was you she came to when she didn't know where to go. It was you who got her to be the Lizzie we all love again. And it's definitely going to be you who will get whacked with my Beater's Bat if you let her go without so much as trying. You two, you aren't finished with each other, and don't tell me otherwise." The look on her face softened. "Trust me, Orion. The odds of finding love like yours are so small. You can't just give it up like this."

"Easy for you to say."

Katriona's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The love story between you and Murphy is one for the ages," Orion explained, hating himself for the jealousy rising in his chest. "Your love burns so brightly that it eclipses everything. It always has, long before you even knew it. The moment you two met on the Quidditch pitch your stars aligned, and that never changed. Your story was always fated to be happy."

Katriona set her mug down on the carpet with a heavy thump.

"Listen here now, Mister," she snapped. "I've sat and listened to your whining and convoluted nonsense for the better part of my evening, but now you've crossed another line. Don't you dare act like Murphy and I didn't have our own challenges to overcome, because we bloody well did.

"So what if we never doubted each other? Knowing you don't want to be with anybody else doesn't make spending two years apart any easier. Do you think it was easy for Murphy to be impartial when his colleagues at the Daily Prophet were talking about me? Do you think it was easy for me to give up my dream of being a Quidditch player so Murphy could go and live his?"

She paused to catch her breath. "For him, I would do it all again in a heartbeat, but you weren't even here for all of this. So don't you ever dare to go and tell me again that Murphy and I had it easy."

Feeling the truth of her words, Orion inclined his head in apology. "Forgive me. Over my own misery, I have forgotten that there can't be light without a shadow."

Katriona seemed content with his answer. "Murphy and I worked hard for our luck. Nothing good in this world comes from politely asking for it. Luck is earned by the choices we make and the things we deem worth fighting for."

She rose to her feet, collected their empty mugs on the tray and walked to the door. As she was about to close it behind her, she turned to Orion once more.

"You said the line you crossed was plain to see. Here's a little wisdom for you, for a change - from my own experience, the exciting parts are always those that lie beyond."