To my dear Chuuya...

CHAPTER 16

"After that, something inside me finally snapped. I began to fight back. When those bigger kids tried to fight me, I stabbed one of them with a fork I stole from the kitchen. After that, they sent me to another orphanage. I was angry at everyone-at the other kids, at the families that kept bringing me back because I wasn't good enough for them, at the entire fucking world, but mostly at myself. The cycle just kept repeating itself. I went from one orphanage to the other because I was too much to put up with. At the last orphanage I went to, I didn't even try to act like a good kid anymore. I gave up on the hope that I might get adopted. And then, a fucker tried to pick a fight with me and I beat him so hard that he almost died. I'm pretty sure he went into a coma, and that was the last straw. They sent me here," he finished explaining, Dazai rubbing comforting circles with his thumb on his waist.

Chuuya had a question burning in his mind, but he wasn't sure if he should ask it or not. He wanted to know the truth, but he didn't know if it was the right time.

However, curiosity got the best of him.

"Dazai?"

"Mhm?"

"Why are you here?" he asked.

Silence filled the room, neither of them saying anything else. Chuuya began regretting asking him that. He wanted to know more about him and his past, but he wanted Dazai to tell him when he was ready. He opened his mouth to take back his question, but Dazai broke the silence first.

"I killed my father."

Chuuya closed his mouth, his eyes widening in shock.

"My father was Mori Ougai, the head of the Yokohama mafia," he continued, not saying anything else, as if he was waiting for Chuuya's reaction.

The redhead was taken aback by his words. He knew that at least some of the rumors going around about him had to be true, but he still didn't expect this. Despite this, he held him tighter against his chest, gently running one hand through his hair. "Go on," he softly urged Dazai to continue, letting him know that he wasn't going to run away.

Dazai instantly let out a small breath of relief, relaxing in his arms before continuing to speak. "I'm not even sure if I was his real son, since I never found any birth certificate or documents that indicated my existence," he laughed a humorless laugh.

"He was a cruel man. If you've heard anything about him, which you probably have, then you already know that. But he was also powerful. He had an entire mafia under him. Yokohama was his. But he needed a succesor. That's where I came into the picture. I guess he saw something in me. He saw the potential of a monster. So he molded me into one. His monster. He didn't have too much work to do though. I guess I always had it in me. It didn't take me long before I made a name for myself. The demon prodigy. That's what they all called me. That goddamned name followed me even here. I was feared by all of them. I was ruthless. I truly was his monster. I never felt an ounce of guilt for any of the things I did. I stole, I killed, I tortured," Chuuya took in his words, still running his hand through his hair in a comforting manner.

"Oda was a part of the mafia too," he said, surprising the redhead. "He was a lower ranked worker. He basically just took care of the papers and documents. He was a good man, even then. And, for some reason, he didn't see me as a monster. We got close to each other. I think he was the only reason why I didn't completely lose myself in there. He made me realize that I didn't want to take over the mafia and spend the rest of my life as a ruthless leader. So I killed my father. I had planned that I would also kill myself after that, so there would be no one left to take over, but Oda found me before I could end it all. He stopped me and promised me that there was another way out of this. He helped me make it look like I killed my father in self defense. The scar I have on my cheek, I made him cut me with a knife so that it seemed real. He put the knife in my dead father's hand and he used it to slice my cheek. When the police arrived, they didn't really try to incriminate me, since most of them were involved with my father's drug business and they knew I could fuck them over, so they just agreed to send me here. None of them knew who Oda was, so it was easy for him to get a job here, in order to keep an eye on me and make sure I was alright," Dazai finished explaining, finally looking up at Chuuya. The look in his eyes made the redhead's heart break. He had an accepting smile on his face, his eyes filled with a sadness the redhead had never seen before. He was sure that Chuuya would leave him now.

Instead, he cupped his face with his hands, planting a small kiss on Dazai's forehead. "I'm glad you got out of there," Chuuya told Dazai, hugging him closer to his chest.

"I'm glad too," Dazai whispered against his neck, but he wasn't referring to the fact that he managed to get out of the mafia. He was glad Chuuya was there with him.

To be continued...

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