Starwards |The silmarillion fanfiction (Ar-Pharazôn/Amandil)

Epilogue

Pharazôn had found himself floating in the darkness.

He felt that he was not alive, nor dead; he was only a wisp of consciousness, wandering in this boundless, utter pitch-blackness.

He couldn't tell how long he had been here, nor whether he was moving or staying still; it didn't matter anyway―the place looked the same anywhere.

It was like being dumped in the breach of time and space, totally forgotten and forsaken by the rest of the world. Pharazôn had a feeling that even he himself was starting to forget who he was.

― So this is my end. Forever imprisoned in this endless void, until the last piece of my consciousness fades away.

He thought vaguely to himself.

Then suddenly he caught a glimpse of a glimmer of light flash by.

He thought it was just an illusion at first, a trick of his blurry mind. But shortly he saw it flickered again, clearer this time; slowly it became brighter and more consistent, like a star shining in the night sky.

Pharazôn stared at the light intently. All at once, he was overwhelmed with a strong urge to reach it.

For the first time in a very long time he stirred, and he found himself able to rule his body again. Then he waved all his four limbs strenuously, struggling to approach that glittering star faraway among the darkness.

He proceeded slowly, at first it seemed to him that he wasn't getting any closer to it at all; but bit by bit, the star glowed brighter and clearer as he went on, and his heart was gradually imbued with great hope.

Toward the light he waded desperately through the thick blackness, just like his forebearers in ancient times seeking after that brilliant star amid the vast sea to find their land; he didn't know how long it had been, nor how far he had gone. The only thing occupying his mind was the radiance of the light.

At last, it became within reach.

Pharazôn almost thought he was dreaming when he found out the source of the light―a star-shaped brooch, with a glowing sapphire set upon it. Then he saw the familiar figure bearing it, and his breath was utterly taken away.

He reached out his hand in disbelief and he felt a warmth envelop it. Tears were rolling down his cheeks but he didn't pay heed to it even the slightest.

"I've found you at last."

Amandil said softly, holding his hand.

Pharazôn gazed at him speechlessly for a moment, then he pulled him into his arms.

"I'm so sorry."

He murmured, burying his face in Amandil's shoulder.

"It's fine."

"Would you stay with me?"

Pharazôn asked, tightening his arms. Then he felt Amandil hug him back.

"Until the end of the world."

He told him.