/𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒\ [𝒔. 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞

"And that's an order," said Sirius. "It's lockdown for the Potters."

"Don't joke," snapped Moody. "For as long as you're in danger, you won't leave the premises."

Lily scoffed indignantly. "Are you serious right now?"

"I swear if one of you makes a Sirius joke," Moody muttered.

"It was on the tip of my tongue," said Mary.

He shook his head in mock disappointment. "I thought better of you, Macdonald."

"Sorry."

"But I mean it, this isn't something to take lightly," Moody continued. "They want you dead, Potter. All of you. So you'll stay in the house until further notice."

James slipped an arm around Lily. "Yeah," he said. "I mean..." He trailed off. He had no real intention of staying in. Lily and Harry, of course, couldn't be put in harm's way, but James... He wanted to be a bigger part of the Order. He'd given his life to the cause for too long to just let it drop. "Yeah," he finished lamely.

"Here, I've got something that'll make it better," said Remus, rifling through his bag. "Found it in a shop, it's for Harry."

It was a red sweater with the words "Think I'm cute? You should see my uncle," on it.

James burst out laughing. "Imagine if Vernon saw him wearing this."

"Ah, we're his real uncles," said Sirius, taking the sweater. "Now come here, Harry, you're wearing this every time we go out."

He struggled to get the sweater over Harry's head, but once it was on, everyone laughed. "I'm going to ban you all from buying my baby clothes," said Lily, adjusting the sleeves.

"Are you lot not going to take this seriously?" said Moody. "We could be talking strategy right now, not obsessing over a baby-"

"Mad Eye!" Artemis scolded. "We have a planning meeting tomorrow morning."

Moody sighed and set his glass in the sink. "Fine, I'm leaving."

"No, Mad Eye!" Marlene protested. "Have a few drinks, relax!

He shook his head. "No, no, you kids have fun. I've got some paperwork to do at the office."

"Mad Eye, you can't do work all the time, have another drink," said James.

But Moody wasn't giving in. "Don't worry about me, please. I'll see you all tomorrow. Except you, Potter, and Lily, you're staying here."

"Aye aye," said Lily. "Have fun at work."

Moody grunted in response and let himself out. Harry, sitting on the counter, babbled and waved his arms. Sirius got to him before Lily could, scooping him up and bouncing him in his arms. "Come on, Harry," he said, "Let's go see what toys I still need to buy you."

"No more toys!" Lily called after him as Sirius disappeared into the living room, Artemis close behind. "He has more than enough!"

Artemis and Sirius sat on the carpet with Harry between them. Artemis picked up a stuffed dog and put it in Harry's hands. "Looks like your Uncle Padfoot."

"Does not!" Sirius protested. "It's so small... and- scruffy."

"Yeah, just like you."

Sirius opened his mouth in protest, then morphed into his dog form. Harry let out a shriek as Sirius gently set a paw in his lap. Artemis laughed and scratched the dog behind the ears. "Come on, Snuffles, you're scaring him."

"Don't call me that," said Sirius, transforming back into a human.

Harry stared at him in wonder. Sirius stared right back. "Yeah, that's right, I can turn into a dog. What can you do, huh?"

"Don't bully the baby," said Artemis. "Wait, ready? Harry, I'm going to teach you to say something your dad is going to love. Can you say, 'fuck the Chudley Cannons?"

"Art!" said Sirius, pushing her over playfully and covering Harry's ears. Then, he narrowed his eyes. "Wait. Can he say it? Fuck the Chudley Cannons, Harry. Say it-"

"Fu-ch-caaa," Harry mimicked, sending Artemis and Sirius into fits of laughter.

Sirius sat back on his heels and grabbed a rubber ball from behind the couch. He rolled it absentmindedly towards Harry, and caught it when Harry rolled it back. "Think if we tied a bunch of balloons to him, he'd float? We could do that for James's birthday."

"I bet he would," said Artemis.

"How many balloons d'you think it would take?" Sirius said excitedly. "To make him fly?"

"Oh my god," a voice came from the doorway. Remus was leaning against the doorframe, eyebrows raised. "They really trusted you two to be godparents."

Artemis grinned up at him. "Like you're a perfect influence."

"I am!" Remus protested. "Harry, say my name."

"Ho-stuff," Harry said on cue.

Artemis and Sirius stared at Remus. "Did you teach him to call you 'hot stuff?" said Artemis, holding back tears of laughter.

"Maybe," said Remus. He ruffled Harry's hair and sat across from him. "Yet another reason why we've got to bring him out with us."

"Remus!" said Sirius.

Remus chuckled. "Better than trying to make him fly."

~

Long after everyone else had left, Sirius and Artemis stood in the kitchen with the Potters. Artemis had her coat on, they'd said they would leave an hour ago, but then gotten too distracted by the conversation.

"You know, James tried to give him coffee once," said Lily.

"I wanted to see what would happen," James defended himself.

Lily shook her head at Artemis. "I blame you, Art. You knew he was an idiot all along and still let me marry him."

"The prank of the century," Artemis said, winking at her.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Not to dramatically change the subject, but I don't think I should be your secret keeper."

The room went silent. "Why?" Lily said indignantly. "Is this going to be like when you didn't want to be Harry's godfather?"

"No, no," said Sirius. "Not at all. Think about it. It's too obvious."

"What d'you mean?" said James. "Don't try and be noble, Padfoot, it's stupid. You're the person we trust to do this."

Sirius nodded. "I'm not being noble, this is honestly self preservation. They'll assume I'm the secret keeper and come after me. Now, I'm not saying I would give you up, you know I never would, but it's too simple for them."

"Then who would be secret keeper?" said Artemis. "I'm not doing it- same reason."

"Peter," Sirius said without hesitation. "Please, James, Lily. Don't make me secret keeper, it's only more dangerous for all of us. They won't expect Peter, and we can trust him."

"Why Peter?" said Lily, dumbfounded.

"It's obvious," murmured Artemis. "He's never been the best fighter, he's not a huge part of the Order, they would never suspect him."

James took a deep breath. "They're right," he said to Lily. "They're completely right."

Lily wavered on the spot for a second. "Alright," she said at last. "Alright, yeah. We'll talk to Peter tomorrow."