The Secret - Alexia Putellas

29.

"You do realize I already know something's wrong, right?", Alexia sighs as she rolls on top of Erin, propping herself up on the therapist's chest while looking down at her, despite not being able to see anything.

The room was completely dark.

"I told you... Don't worry. Please", Erin heaves a sad sigh, incapable not to blame herself for lying. But she couldn't force herself to say it. She couldn't. She couldn't hurt Alexia.

Still 12 more days.

"You telling me not to worry makes it worse, you know. Did I do something wrong?", the brunette asks, seeming rather confused about Erin's attempt to avoid answering.

She wanted to know.

She deserved to know if there was something wrong.

"No. No, of course not. You're perfect. It's just... can we talk about this when we get back home?", Erin begs, her throat tightening at the confession she just made.

"So something is indeed wrong, then. What is it?", Alexia urged, now sitting up on the blonde's lap, her knees on either side of Erin's body, refusing to let her move or turn away. She wasn't willing to let Erin get away with this any longer. The more she had to watch how miserable her girlfriend felt, the more Alexia wanted to help.

Erin felt her eyes watering.

Luckily, it was dark enough to prevent Alexia from seeing anything.

"Why are you pressuring me?", Erin mumbles softly, rubbing her eyes as she felt a tear slowly making its way down her cheek.

"Why won't you tell me? Are you afraid I'll get mad?", Alexia asks softly, extending her warm hands to caress the blonde's features and traces her thumb along Erin's jaw.

Of course, she noticed that Erin was crying.

Again.

Just like the day before when the therapist went to the bathroom. Or the previous night, when she came home from Madrid. Alexia wasn't blind, after all.

"I don't know...", Erin replies, squeezing her eyes shut as she lifts her arms and holds onto Alexia's wrists, while feeling more and more tears streaming down her face. It was impossible to suppress the tears any longer.

"Well, then you should know better. I'm not going to be mad at you. I trusted you with everything, Erin. So why don't you do the same?", Alexia suggests in the gentlest way possible, her voice so calm and soft that Erin's heart skipped a beat.

Erin wanted to answer. She wanted to say something. But the moment she parted her lips to speak, no words came out.

She couldn't.

Still 12 more days.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. I just want you to know that whatever it is.... I really love you. I would never want to lose you", Alexia replies, running her thumbs over Erin's cheeks once more, wiping the tears away, before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

Erin's breathing stops for a moment.

Did she just say that?

"You... never said that before", she sobs.

"I love you", Alexia repeats softly, a huge smile forming on her lips as she hugs Erin tightly. Whatever it was that was wrong, she would be there for her. She would always be there for her.

"Yo también te quiero", Erin replies happily.

Now she could really no longer hold back her tears. Although Erin was glad that they finally said it out loud, she had the feeling that it didn't make it any better. Because when Alexia said she would never want to lose her, Erin couldn't help but think that this would happen very soon.