Introverted|Strawberries & Cigarettes (Sebastian X Reader)

Chapter 26 | relapse

"You look tired, are you okay?" His brows furrow in concern.

She shifts in her spot, picking her words out carefully internally as she thinks for a moment. "I'm... decent." She exhaled, smiling awkwardly. She doesn't know how to lie to Sebastian. With others, it's easy to put up an act. But when it comes to him, it's much more difficult. She hates to lie to him. Even more so than the fact that even if she did try to, he'd read her like a book.

His brow raising, Y/n sighs as she looks down at his hands, holding onto the edge of the table next to his legs, holding him up so his posture wasn't so shitty.

"I... don't know..." she sighs, shaking her head with dismay.

If she truly understood why she was so down that day, she'd explain. But unfortunately, she can't justify what she's feeling. Even if she tries to weigh the options of why she was so down, none of them truthfully are enough to describe how complex her emotions are inside.

Sebastian frowns when he notices how ashamed she looks, avoiding his eyes.

He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable, but he doesn't want to not make the attempt to make her feel better.

"Do you want to talk about it..?" He asks, waiting for a response so he can listen to whatever it is she had on her mind. There's a moment of silence before she starts speaking.

"I just... I woke up this morning and I felt... stuck. It was like how I felt every day I woke up in Zuzu city and I think that feeling only became worse the more I expected to fall into that hole again. You know... the more I worried about never getting better, the more time I wasted on getting better." She shrugs, smiling as she speaks.

She doesn't want to upset Sebastian too much, so she tries to at least remain calm and rational, keeping her emotions in balance.

"Getting better..?" Sebastian intervenes when she stops talking, simply wanting to know more. He's willing to assist if there was something he can do. If only he had more information. But Y/n was too secretive to tell him.

"Can we Talk about this sometime else..? I want to know how you are doing now that I'm free for the time being..." Y/n sighs again, smiling. This time, she remains eye contact with him, begging that he'd change the subject.

Sebastian nods and hums softly, remembering to be gentle with her.

"Of course, whenever you're ready."

She nods in return, her eyes falling to her lap as she smiles, grateful.

She barely notices that her cheeks have become pink. The absolute adoration she had for Sebastian's patience and kindness. He didn't even know, didn't see the way his soul is so incredibly beautiful. The way he's so gentle with his words, spoken like a poem, so velvety and soft, filled with genuine emotions. He paints her like she's something delicate, something otherworldly. Worships her feelings like a Greek god, on his knees with his offerings which were his kindness.

Sebastian was so incredibly kind, yet he doesn't see it himself. Y/n wishes she could show him what she sees.

"I'm doing alright. Just very tired is all." He yawns, shrugging. He watches as Y/n's leg goes between his, swinging side to side as she listens.

"My day just started so... can't say much about it. But what have you been up to?"

"Work. That's it. I've collected enough money for the house upgrade and I swear I'm almost bankrupt Bastian, it's actually so homophobic." She groans to herself, lightly kicking at his ankle. He chuckles at her using one foot to gently kick her back.